Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning
Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital  

The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will be coming out of your paycheck.

 

Prestigious university affiliation  

We paid dearly for that, too (also coming out of your paycheck). Don’t expect to get any “protected time,” either.

 

Up to $500,000 guaranteed base salary  

That’s if you work your butt off and generate 10,000 wRVUs per year. Otherwise, you’re getting minimum wage.

 

Comprehensive service line We have a lot of mouths to feed here!
Integrative medicine approach  

Better play nice with the quacktors if you want to keep your job.

 

Join highly respected and busy providers in a fast-paced highly reputable Center of Excellence  

They just lifted our probationary status. Did we mention that you are going to work your butt off?

 

Strong economy with low unemployment  

All of your patients work at Wal-Mart, and Medicaid is the major payor.

 

Plethora of outdoor activities. Experience all 4 seasons!  

No cultural activities. Freezing cold winters and brutal, humid summers. Ever spend a summer in Chicago or St. Louis without AC?

 

Catchment area of 1,000,000!  

Six other medical centers are competing with us for patients.

 

Just 2 hours from a major metropolitan area!  

That’s 2 ½ hours when the traffic is light, and 3 ½ hours the rest of the time. Don’t worry–you won’t have time to go.

 

Low cost of living  

Nobody else wants to live here.

 

Multicultural setting  

You’ll need an interpreter for most of the visits.

 

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  • Dr. Sal Monella

    Bio(hazard): Sal Monella had an infectious personality and knew from the start that a career in healthcare was for him. He is a sadist who really, really doesn't like other people (especially patients!) and tried his best to get into dental school, but when that failed, he had to settle for being an oncologist. When not causing infections, he channels his sociopathic, psychopathic, and homeopathic tendencies into bullying medical trainees, dreaming up quality improvement projects, and writing Gomerblog articles. In his free time, when not torturing patients or junior colleagues, Dr. Monella enjoys tormenting children and small animals.

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