Chewbacca’s Pain Score Was Really Only a 2

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IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY… – After being wounded in battle, Chewbacca was given the best medical treatment on the Resistance medical freighter.  Chewy reported 11/10 pain to his nurse and doctor.  However, after using GomerBlog’s pain detector, Chewy’s actual pain score was revealed to be only a 2.  Chewy had repeatedly asked for “growl growl” (Dilaudid) and “growl growl” (Percocet) by name.  After revealing the gross exaggeration of pain, friends and family discovered scores of empty narcotic pill bottles in his personal belongings.  Reports was suffering from a deep depression due to the loss of his soulmate: Han Solo.  At this time, Chewy is checked into a drug rehab center and may miss the filming of Episode VIII.

  • ED PAC

    I have been working in healthcare since 2008. I have vast clinical experience in retrieving blankets and pillows, counting respirations for a full minute, raising the head of the bed to exactly 30 degrees, scrubbing back in to surgery after touching something that isn't blue, and calling patients with positive STD tests. I am motivated by free food in the nurse's lounge, patients standing outside their rooms staring as I pass, and my student loan company. Someday I hope to write a prescription for common sense.

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