intern, urine

Breaking: Intern Can’t Hold It, Pees on Self

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Unable to speak up and hold his bladder any longer on morning rounds, surgical intern Chris McElroy decided to pee all over himself in embarrassing albeit satisfying glory.

intern, urine, pee
“Hey Chris, if it makes you feel better, at least your urine isn’t bloody”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…” he moaned while rolling his eyes and head back in ecstasy.  He was initially self-conscious and uncomfortable with the sensation of urine streaming down his leg.  Very quickly, he came to be at peace with his decision, unfazed by the judging eyes of his surgical team.  “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

The combination of two cups of coffee, a Whipple procedure, and subsequent surgical rounds – all without a bathroom break – led to his inevitable scrubwetting.

“At first, I was disappointed in him,” said third-year surgical resident Holly Donahue.  “But when I saw how much urine he was making… The puddle keep getting bigger and bigger, it was almost three meters wide!  And it sounded like a waterfall.  I realized good for him, he had to make a hard decision: When life hands you lemons, pee your pants.”

As any intern knows, no matter what subspecialty, you are to never, ever miss or interrupt rounds.  Even it means losing all dignity and self-respect.  Especially on the first day of internship, July 1st.  Thankfully for McElroy, there was a bright side: he denied any dysuria, urinary frequency, hematuria, or flank pain.

“I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to pee on myself today,” said fellow surgical intern Laura Hock, pretty confident she has 2 liters of unvoided urine with bilateral hydronephrosis and renal failure.  She let out a deep breath and smiled.  “But Mac has set the bar low for the year and now I know, we all know that we can lose continence whenever we want.

GomerBlog wishes to salute Chris McElroy for being a trailblazer.  Or maybe trailurinator.

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