Contact Precautions? Nope Consultants are Resistant to Everything

  • 1.8K
    Shares

A recent discovery has sent shockwaves through the Infectious Disease community, with professionals questioning current contact precaution practices. Present for many years, however only recently formally identified, Consultants Resistant to Everything, or CRE, may change the way we approach contact precautions forever.

smiling business man and doctor isolated on different backgroundsDr. Ragh, an orthopaedic surgeon who spearheaded this research project, released a statement outlining the team’s findings, “It appears that when a doctor reaches consultancy level, they immediately become resistant to all bacteria, rendering contact precautions pointless. For example, this would explain why consultants are never seen gowning and gloving prior to entering a gastro patient’s room”.

Researchers have put forth the following hypothesis to explain the phenomenon, “We believe well-tailored Hugo Boss suits, when worn by a consultant, have a certain property that somehow deflects all bacteria, and thus allowing the wearer free thoroughfare from patient room to patient room”.

One infectious disease doctor suggested that perhaps hospitals should provide well-tailored Hugo Boss suits to all doctors, however this has been met with backlash. “How could a consultant be identified in an emergency situation if every Joe, Dick and Harry are wearing well-tailored Hugo Boss suit like me? It would be a logistical nightmare! Not to mention financial…,” stated Dr. Ragh.

Junior doctors are still encouraged to observe all contact precautions, however should not be found gesturing to a consultant to do the same. Junior doctors will just have to wait until consultancy.

image_pdfimage_print
  • Gomerblog Team

    This author is actually a group of authors that contribute. Many famous Gomerblog authors have published here later to have their works printed under their real name. Maybe one day you too could be part of the Gomerblog team

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

Chewbacca’s Pain Score Was Really Only a 2

227SharesIN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY… – After being wounded in battle, Chewbacca was ...

ER

Goop from ER Break Room Becomes Sentient, Asks for Dilaudid

3.4KSharesDALLAS, TX – In an amazing breakthrough for science, a new life form has spontaneously ...

Area Female Physician Changes First Name to “Doctor”

6.3KSharesIn Milwaukee today, a local cardiologist made the unprecedented move of legally changing her ...

rhabdo

Forrest Gump Still in Rhabdo 30 Years After Epic Cross-Country Run

6.5KSharesBIRMINGHAM, AL – Though it has been three decades since his historic three-and-a-half year ...

dick prick urologist urology

Breaking News: Local Urologist is a Giant Dick

1.3KSharesNASHVILLE, TN – After examining thousands upon thousands of male genitalia, area urologist Richard ...