ATLANTA, GA – Delta Airlines announced that “all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency.” They are coming off of their latest controversy where a flight attendant wouldn’t believe a female African-American physician was actually a physician.
“This should avoid any and all misunderstandings in the future,” Delta released in a statement.
“We feel terrible that this woman was not believed to be an actual physician,” head of Delta’s HR department Derek Hawkins told reporters. “There are not many female physicians out there, and the odds of one being on our airplane, on that day, are probably one in a million. So you understand our hesitation.”
“We have to be VERY careful on who we let help during these emergencies,” he continued. “Usually the whole plane will volunteer to be the ‘doctor’ and help the dying passenger. There will be too many orders and some could be false. It’s very common and we have to screen these people.”
Why are all these fake doctors volunteering? For the free miles, Delta tells us. “They may have been responsible for a dead passenger but they get a free ticket somewhere. Usually only redeemed after they have served jail-time for manslaughter, by physician impersonation. Seen it a 1000 times!”
Delta’s statement went on to read: “Two forms of identification may be required in some circumstances, to expedite this our flight attendants will issue a credentialing packet to ALL physicians during an in-flight emergency.”
The credentialing packet is simple. It will ask for all of the physician’s education from undergraduate college, to medical school, then residency, and any hospitals where they were privileged. “A simple 35-page application process will help speed this up,” Derek Hawkins continued. “There will also be room for 3 professional references. This packet will then be processed through our HR department and the physician will be notified if they are able to help during the emergency.”