genital exam, Halloween

GU’s Halloweiner Special: Wear Costume, Free Genital Exam

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LINTHICUM, MD – The American Urological Association (AUA) is promoting men’s health this October 31st by offering a one-day Halloweiner special: visit your urologist in costume and get a free male genital exam.

genital exam, Halloween
These two male Zombies continue with the apocalypse knowing they’re free of STDs

“Men are often hesitant to get appropriate check-ups, maybe because they feel very vulnerable during the exam process,” says urologist Michael Bennett.  He points out that most American males haven’t had a full genital exam – including both scrotal and rectal exams and STD testing and counseling – within the past 5 years.  “But let’s say a man gets to dress up as Boba Fett and keep his helmet on during the exam, he might be more willing to visit his urologist and get the routine check-up he deserves.”

Bennett notes that it could work both ways in that examiners can be entertained too.  “I could be like, ‘Woah, Batman has real bad hemorrhoids’ or ‘Good to know those zombies are HIV negative,'” he explained.  “How funny would that be?”

The AUA encourages medical providers to dress up too, though they request choosing a costume wisely.  Patients may be scared out of the examination room if their health care practitioner has decided to dress up as Darth Vader, Satan, or Dr. Oz.

genital exam
“Must get to urologist… have testicles checked for lumps…”

Many members of the AUA are hitting themselves on the head, wondering why they didn’t think of men’s health promotions on Halloween before.

“Think of all the catchy names we could think of,” added current AUA president Dennis Pessis, confident that this new Halloween campaign will be a huge success.  “This year will be about the Halloweiners.  Next year we can call it Prick or Treat and 2018 Dick or Treat.”  Pessis paused to think of any others, all the while giggling.  “Or how about this: we wanna make sure your little pumpkins have no lumpkins.  Too wordy?”

The AUA wants to remind all patients that they themselves should be in costume, not their genitals.  “Please don’t dress up your private parts before coming into clinic,” said Pessis.  “We don’t want to miss a lesion because you painted your balls.  But after the exam, feel free to decorate your genitals as you please.  Literally, go nuts.”

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