Pediatrician Jim Smith is thrilled with his new career as a professional Clown. He specializes in children’s birthday parties but has the skill set to perform at kindergarten graduations as well. “Leaving the hospital was the best thing I’ve ever done. Can I say that again?” said an elated Dr. Jim Smith.
Dr. Jim Smith first became interested in becoming a Clown after suffering from extreme burnout. Catalysts included helicopter Moms, antivax Jenny Mccarthy supporters, and the general stress of saving the world. After dealing with one particularly overbearing soccer mom, he stormed out of the office ranting, “**** this noise; I can’t take this horse**** anymore!” and never returned. Using obscenities for the first time felt nothing short of liberating.
Dr. Jim Smith’s new lifestyle is entirely different from the clinic he used to work at. Previously, he woke up at 6am sharp but now he rolls out of bed in the neighborhood of 11:30am to ensure he is prompt for lunchtime birthday contracts. “I take my responsibilities very seriously,” said Dr. Jim Smith proudly. After a solid hour of challenging work, he practices his Downward Dog poses.
In spite of all the Clown perks, Jim has admittedly taken a rather large pay cut. As a pediatrician, the Doctor made $200,000.00 per year. Now he makes $17,500.00 a year if fully booked and tipped generously. However, Dr. Jim Smith says that eating Ramen noodles with his wife and kids is definitely worth the consistent joy he experiences performing slapstick routines. “Freedom really has no price tag,” said Clown Jim Smith.
Dr. Jim Smith’s favorite part of the job is showcasing his balloon skills. “Even though the kids cry sometimes, they don’t die,” he stated enthusiastically. Creating these balloon animals has proved to be significantly more meaningful than diagnosing heart defects.
Dr. Jim Smith sleeps soundly knowing the nurses aren’t “hunting (him) down like cattle.” Instead, parents and children alike watch him smile and laugh as if he’s the greatest entertainer in the world. He even gets to wear a red nose! And doing mime is endlessly entertaining and unpredictable too.
Dr. Jim Smith’s old colleagues have inquired what degree is needed to become a Clown. They’ve also expressed curiosity as to whether it is a high demand skill.
Dr. Jim Smith’s only regret is that he didn’t become a Clown sooner.