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mashed potatoes
“U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! Po-to-toes! Po-ta-toes! Po-ta-toes!”

INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Veterans Day is a time when our country comes together to honor our military service men and women who have sacrificed so much to protect our country.  This year was no different at the VA hospital when 87-year-old Vincent Arnold, a veteran of three wars, was offered a complimentary serving of mashed potatoes in the cafeteria as a thank you for his 30 years of military service.

Normally, the “Patriot” combo meal includes 2 pieces of fried chicken, a side of mixed vegetables and a 12-ounce drink.  On Veterans Day, all veterans are given a scoop of mashed potatoes free of charge.  Purple Heart recipients are also given the option of brown or cream gravy as a special recognition for the physical suffering they endured while fighting for our freedom.

“We always make sure our veterans have a very special Veterans Day,” stated hospital administrator Nathan Bishop while opening a box of miniature American flags that will be placed in every patient’s room.  “We pull out all the stops: stickers that say ‘We Love Our Veterans’; red, white, and blue crepe paper; and lots of smiles!”  They may even roll out those patriotic Pyxis machines again.

At press time, witnesses reported seeing a Medal of Honor winner being given a T-shirt adorned with a billowing American flag and three bald eagles.

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Dr. Glaucomflecken
Following a successful career as a doctor impersonator, Dr. Glaucomflecken decided to attend a real, accredited medical school and residency program. Now he spends his time treating eyeballs, occasionally forgetting that they belong to an actual human body. Dr. Glaucomflecken specializes in knowing where to look when talking to somebody with a lazy eye. He started writing for GomerBlog after being told to “publish or perish.” Follow me on Twitter @DGlaucomflecken
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