medical student nodding

Breaking: Med Student Saves Patient’s Life Using Krebs Cycle

  • 18.9K
    Shares

RALEIGH, NC – In a shocking turn of events in the emergency department this morning, 3rd-year med student Daniel Moder saved a patient’s life using only his knowledge of the Krebs cycle.

medical student nodding

At 3 AM yesterday, a patient arrived via ambulance after suffering severe trauma during a motor vehicle collision.  The 24-year-old man had a severed femoral artery and was bleeding profusely.  With his blood pressure dropping and the trauma team unsure what to do, Moder jumped into action. Reaching deep into his short white coat pocket, he pulled out a thick stack of flash cards filled with flow charts depicting the Krebs cycle.  He took the stack of 3 x 5 index cards and packed the open leg wound, resulting in immediate tamponade of the bleeding artery.  After saving the patient’s life, Moder reportedly leaned over the young man’s ear and said, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine, you got about 2 pounds of Krebs in you.”

When asked why he carried such a robust and seemingly useless pile of index cards containing details of what many consider the most inane, reprehensible enzymatic reaction known to western civilization, Moder responded, “It’s all I had in my pockets.”

Records indicate this remarkable event is the first time in human history that the Krebs cycle has made a positive impact in somebody’s life.

image_pdfimage_print
  • Show Comments

You May Also Like

Local Man Upset He’s Not Getting His Healthcare Money’s Worth

33SharesDAYTON, OH – Local resident, Phil Summers, complained that he isn’t getting his “money’s ...

Bold Hospital Planning on Operating Over Thanksgiving Weekend Without Hospital Administrators

8KSharesNEW BRUNSWICK, NJ – Reutgers Medical Center recently announced that it may operate this Thanksgiving ...

Hilton Hospital

New Burger King and Hilton Hospital to Open

1.5KSharesCHICAGO, IL – Burger King and Hilton have merged together and plan to finish ...

calling pathologist

Calling Pathologists Multiple Times Does Not Expedite Reports, Study Finds

4.7KSharesCHARLOTTESVILLE, VA – A new study sponsored by the College of American Pathologists concluded ...

code placement

Dramatic “Code Placement” Captured on Tape

708Shares AUSTIN, TX – In breaking news, GomerBlog has received word of a dramatic ...

Psychiatrist Cracks Tough Case: Depressed Chocolate Bunny Empty Inside

991SharesHERSHEY, PA – Noted cross-species psychiatrist, Dr. Caitlyn Cadbury, broke through a very challenging case ...