empty toner cartridge

Nurse Assigned to Shake Empty Toner Cartridge Every 5 Minutes

  • 785

LOUISVILLE, KY – As punishment for not charting a respiratory rate other than 16, first-year nurse Randy Tolbert has been relegated from patient care to standing by the printer at the nurses station and shaking the empty toner cartridge every 5 minutes to make sure that anything that prints is somewhat legible.

empty toner cartridge
The only way to fix empty toner: shake it, don’t replace it!

“This is worse than manually disimpacting a patient without gloves,” said Tolbert whose shoulders, biceps, and triceps are exhausted from “shaking the bejesus” out of the toner cartridge, and he’s only been at it for 3 hours.  “I have learned my lesson: Every once in a while, I really have to throw in a respiratory rate of 6 or 12 or 15 to keep other health care professionals and administrators honest.  Charting 16 every single time is just irresponsible.”

Only moments after this comment, fellow nurse on the floor Erica Sanders printed out discharge instructions on a patient only to find that every other line was faded, with the final two pages being essentially blank.  “Come on, Randy,” Erica said to Tolbert, showing her the poorly-printed documents, “I want you to shake that toner with all of your heart and soul.  I can’t hand my patient this!  This looks so unprofessional.”

When asked if he prefers shaking maracas, his toosh, or an empty toner cartridge, Tolbert said it was no contest: he would prefer to shake his toosh followed by maracas.  He admits that he might “forever be scarred” by toner.

Charge nurse Beverly Winters, who was part of the committee that levied punishment on Tolbert, has not yet said how long Tolbert’s punishment will last.  “I initially teased that Randy would have to shake the toner until IT comes by.  But after realizing that this printer has had a work ticket since 1999 and IT still hasn’t come by made me think otherwise.”

Tolbert has been warned that if he charts 16 once more in future, then the next time the printer runs out of paper he will be asked to chop down a tree and make paper from scratch.

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

Doctor Makes His Pager DNR

1.1KSharesMARIETTA, GA – “It was time,” explained hospitalist James Smith as he caressed his ...

Vital Signs Much Worse After Implementing Anesthesia Automatic Electronic Records

1.4KSharesBOSTON, MA – Huge swings in vital sign monitoring have some anesthesiologists and hospital administrators ...


Anesthesiologist Behind Drape Plays Peakaboo with Surgeon

3.2KSharesNORFOLK, VA – Anesthesiologist and master entertainer Thomas Kingston couldn’t believe he forgot his ...

ebola virus

Ebola Virus: I’m Really Uncomfortable with All This Attention I’m Getting

44SharesGood morning, American citizens.  Let me introduce myself: I’m the Ebola virus. PLEASE!  Calm ...

Match Day

Hillary Clinton Suffers Huge Loss as She Goes Unmatched on Match Day

771SharesCHAPPAQUA, NY – In what can only be described as the biggest disappointment of Hillary ...