Anesthesia Techs Strike; Anesthesiologists Forced to Go Get Their Own Quarters

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HUNTSVILLE, AL – In the midst of a contentious labor dispute, anesthesia techs at Huntsville General Hospital have gone on strike. Amongst the many effects of this strike, Anesthesiologists and CRNA’s are being forced to supply their own quarters for the anesthesia machines.

anesthesia techChief of Anesthesiology, Neil Huffs MD, lamented the strike, “It jeopardizes patient care. If I have to bring in my own roll of quarters for the Anesthesia Machine, it detracts from my Sodoku budget which is crucial for safe, effective anesthesia.”

The leader of the anesthesia tech union, Tyronius Stat, said that the dispute is about fairness, “the anesthesia providers take 13 half hour breaks per 7 hour shift. We currently get less than half that. We’re mildly exhausted. Tired anesthesia techs drop quarters so the anesthesia machines stop working mid-case and then who suffers? The patients and the surgeons!”

There are early indications that there may be some health benefits of the strike to the anesthesia providers. “We haven’t had a single CRNA or Anesthesiologist get a DVT or a sacral decub ulcer since the strike started. We normally average 5 of each per week. Apparently not being sedentary can be good even for anesthetists, but that doesn’t mean we’re happy about it.”

The administration at Huntsville General called the strike dangerous. “Those people are supposed to be doing something in one of the many places in my hospital that I’ve never seen and when they’re on strike they’re probably not doing that which is probably bad based on my severely limited understanding of what happens in the working parts of the hospital” said hospital CEO Jack Cass MHA, BS, DB, POS, MIA.

  • Naan DerThaal

    A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal

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