appreciating appreciative appreciate

Wow, Hospitalist Appreciating the Hell Outta Everyone in Today’s Progress Note

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DURHAM, NC – In a particularly thankful mood today, hospitalist Poonam Trivedi has really gone all out, appreciating the hell out of everyone today in her progress note.

appreciating appreciative appreciate
“I’m just feeling so appreciative today!”

“I really appreciate GI’s recs today,” Trivedi wrote under the patient’s first problem of acute diverticulitis with possible abscess.  But just when you think you’re ready to move on to management, she then writes “I also appreciate the help from Interventional Radiology, General Surgery, and ID.”

“It’s striking to be honest,” says progress note expert Devlin Morrison.  “To have already given a shout out to four subspecialties and you haven’t even moved onto problem two yet?  That’s like Tom Brady throwing 4 touchdowns in the first 5 minutes of the first quarter.  This hospitalist is appreciating everyone like it’s nobody’s business.”

But it doesn’t stop there.  Trivedi’s patient is relatively complex, so she needed the help of other specialties well.  You know what that means: more opportunities to express her appreciation.  And she definitely didn’t hold back.

“I definitely appreciate the help from Cards, you guys are the bomb!” Trivedi wrote under her second problem, acute on chronic systolic congestive heart failure (CHF).  “You bet I’m gonna diurese him like you asked.  Go, Cards, go!”

“Heme/Onc, I really appreciate you guys, you are definitely f**king awesome, managing the sh*t out of this guy’s pancytopenia,” Trivedi wrote referencing the patient’s third problem.  “Transfusion thresholds noted.  You bet I appreciate you, oh hell yeah!”

By Gomerblog’s count, Trivedi has appreciated a total of 22 different specialties, which, if verified by the Centers for Appreciation Control (CAC), would be a modern-day record.

“Last but not least,” she wrote in her final lines of today’s progress note, “I really appreciate the help of PT, OT, Speech, Nutrition, Palliative Care, and Social Work.  I know none of you have even seen the patient yet today, but I know without your help I wouldn’t know where our patient would go and how he would get there.  I appreciate you like you wouldn’t believe!  F**k yeah!  Possible placement FTW!”

Morrison has given a word of advice to Trivedi for tomorrow.  “Be sure to appreciate at least 18 people tomorrow,” he explained, “otherwise you might go into appreciation withdrawal, which believe you me is the absolute worst.  If you do, first-line treatment of appreciation withdrawal is methadone.”

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  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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