TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s teeth while attempting his first intubation during an elective anesthesia rotation.
The “supervising” intern realized the dental disaster when the med student claimed to be unable to see the epiglottis, the regular glottis or anything besides a tongue while waving the Miller blade from tonsil to tonsil.
Realizing that the patient only had the upper lateral incisors left and being well versed in tooth titles, transitional intern Gerry Cook knew that the fabled 7-10 split lay before him. Cook carefully advanced the Miller blade with MS4 McDeebag providing cricoid pressure. Cook had great head extension, found the epiglottis, began lifting with a rigid left arm and was on his way to a flawless intubation, until he sneezed. Cook’s left arm shook wildly with the aaa-choo and when he looked into the patient’s airway, he saw that he had picked up the 7-10 split for a spare ruining one of the 3 remaining complete sets of dentition in all of Alabama.
Cook promptly blamed Anesthesia until he remembered he was Anesthesia for 20 hours a week this month including breaks.
