smug medical student

Jehovah’s Witness Vegan Crossfitting Essential Oils Selling Med Student Uncertain How to Open Conversation

  • 1.8K

Seattle, WA – Local 4th year Medical Student , Brody Smugprick, attempted to strike up a conversation with a fellow student at a fair-trade coffee market inside of a Whole Foods but found himself stumped on how to initiate the conversation.

smug medical student“I love the Lord, my animal-matter free soy-based diet, doing dozens of pull-ups in a row with horrible form, lavender and cumquat essential oils, and being the most enthusiastic medical student the IM service has ever seen,” Smugprick opined, “but its so hard to pick which topic to talk about first when I meet someone new. How do I pick one thing to tell them about myself and potentially leave out so many other of my great qualities?”

“Its like a mother being asked to select a favorite child, do I talk about my new Dead Lift PR that I did after flopping like a fish out of water on the pull-up bar for 30 seconds while grunting maniacally? Or do I talk about how much Jehovah has changed my life? But that would leave out the powers of Bergamot oil to be both an anti-depressant and a sedative! Any of those options would possibly leave me with no time to talk about the benefits of eating a diet rich in Lentils and Kentucky Bluegrass!” Smugprick continued to drone on. Gomerblog unfortunately lost any and all ability to continue listening to this aimless egocentric drivel and walked away.

According to local barista, Knicholle Wrøngnäm, MS4 Smugprick continued talking about himself for another 6 hours straight before realizing he was talking to himself when he took a break to get his 8th Skim Mocha Chai Latte with vegan cream of the morning.

  • Show Comments

You May Also Like

pelvic exam

Tele-GYNs Now Offering Virtual Pelvic Exams

654SharesGWINNETT, GA – OB/GYNs are the latest specialists to join the telemedicine craze in America, ...


Twitter Unveils New Electronic Medical Record, Tweet-MR

1.1KSharesSAN FRANCISCO, CA—Twitter announced today that it would enter the business of electronic medical ...

Secret of Successful Weight Loss Clinic: Tape Worms

45SharesCARINGTON, IL – Recent controversy regarding a famous weight loss clinic, Let’s Knock It Off!, has the ...

medical white coat

Resident’s White Coat Shortened in New Public Shaming Tactic

4.3KSharesHOUSTON, TX – In an imaginative new tactic to publicly shame his residents, orthopedic surgeon ...

CDC Break Room Found to Be Culprit in New Bacterial Outbreak

ATLANTA, GA – A recent outbreak of a dangerous enterobacteria, brought the Center for Disease Control ...