WOONSOCKET, RI – Despite numerous cultures coming back as Methicillin Sensitive Staph aureus, most pharmacies no longer carry the ancient antibiotic.

This hasn’t been an issue for most services in most hospitals across the country. However, Orthopaedics isn’t most services.

Woonsocket General Hospital Orthopaedic Surgeon Brock Hammersley has been managing an infected total knee since the lone ID doc is on vacation this week. “First, the damn lab calls me with the lab results. Methicillin Sensitive Staph. I can handle this, so I put in an order for “Methicillin dosing per pharmacy, easy day. Time to go workout.”

Then, Hammersley’s world was turned upside down, “So Pharmacy called me in the middle of crushing my biceps and said they don’t have Methicillin! Couldn’t believe that shit. They had the nerve to ask me if I wanted another antibiotic!”

“It’s not Ancef sensitive staph so the only option left is Methicillin! What other antibiotics are there? I didn’t know about Methicillin until yesterday. Thank God there’s a second option for infections! But naturally our Pharmacy is out of it…. they’re as residents who skip leg day!”

At last check, the pharmacy was repeatedly calling the ID specialist begging them to come back from vacation.

Naan DerThaal
A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal