Tulsa, OK– Mimi Goodburger has had low back pain for several years. It all started when she slipped on a spilled Frosty walking out of the bathroom at a local Wendy’s.

“After I slipped on that delicious Frosty, my back was 11/10 pain so I went to the ER and I saw Dr. Tharsh Dota who ordered my MRI” Goodburger explained. “That MRI is where they found that I had a herniated disc.”

Back pain doesn’t come from abnormal MRI findings, it comes from carrying around the reports of those findings.

The 14 page MRI report mentioned literally dozens of irrelevant incidental findings including desiccated discs, fibrolipomas, a vertebral hemangioma, Schmorl’s nodes, lymph nodes, Tarlov cysts, ovarian cysts, kidney cysts, and even sebaceous cysts. It also mentions a minuscule disc herniation.

The word disc herniation in her MRI has become the center of Mrs. Goodburger’s world and she carries her MRI report with her like its the damn Ark of the Covenant.

Recently, she went back in to that same ER again for 12/10 back pain, of course she was carrying her MRI report out in front of her. Coincidentally she saw Dr. Dota again who couldn’t help but notice his name on top of the exalted MRI report.

When Dr. Dota started taking a thorough history he realized that Goodburger’s back pain was likely caused by bad posture and carrying the MRI report around throughout life.

Goodburger set down the MRI report and noticed her back pain plummeted down to 9/10, her lowest level in years.

  • Naan DerThaal

    A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal

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