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LOS ANGELES, CA – The producers for the hit TV medical drama Grey’s Anatomy announced today they’re removing a new character because the actor’s name is the same as disgraced TV cardiothoracic surgeon turned TV charlatan Mehmet Oz.

“This wasn’t about offending anyone.  It was about the reasonable possibility that because of his name he would be subject to memes and jokes,” read an internal memo at ABC, “so when Dr. Oz continued spewing nonsense we raised with him the notion of switching shows… Eventually we mutually agreed he should be on The Bachelorette.”

According to sources at ABC, “eventually we mutually agreed” is code for “we told him he could have no job or pretend to care about a pretentious snob and fight for her affection with 31 douchebags.”

When reached for comment, the actor Mehmet Oz was indignant and evoked Michael Bolton from the movie Office Space when asked about changing his name, “No way!  Why should I change?  He’s the one who sucks!”


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  • Naan DerThaal

    A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal

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