SAN FRANCISCO, CA – “Gosh darn it!” exasperated nitwit gastroenterologist Steven Moravsky uttered in a state of shock earlier today when endoscopy suite staff called him at home to remind him the scope was still in his patient’s colon, waiting to be removed. “Gosh darn it,” he repeated, “not again!”
Moravsky was home, reading today’s issue of the New York Times and thinking to himself, “By golly, don’t know how I did it, but I got home way earlier than expected.” But just as he was about to dig his buttocks deeper into his couch cushions and delve into the Sports section, his phone began ringing off of the hook. He silenced the phone, guessing it was scammers. It was when he checked the incoming number that he realized it was the endoscopy suite trying to reach him.
“Ugh!” obviously frustrated with himself, buggy-eyed as his staff told him what he had done for the third time this week. “Can’t believe it, I’m on my way!”
With the patient in question, who was undergoing routine screening colonoscopy, Moravsky managed to maneuver the colonoscope into the cecum with relative ease. The only problem was that, like the other two colonoscopies earlier this week and ten total earlier this year, Moravsky never bothered to work the colonoscope back from the cecum; he simply stepped away from the procedure only to accidentally go home for the day.
For those not familiar with colonoscopes, it is a long tube with a camera at the end used to inspect the anus all the way up to the cecum, and it has both diagnostic and therapeutic capabilities. However, one of the cardinal sins in colonoscopy, outside of purposely perforating the intestines or inserting it into the trachea, is forgetting to remove the colonoscope altogether.
“I can’t even blame Anesthesia for this one,” Moravsky admitted to Gomerblog, owning up to his mistake while Anesthesia merely awaited, the good sports that they were, reinforcing their drape fort for the time being. “Stupid!”