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“I hope I have enough bananas in this bag”

HONOLULU, HI – New pharmacist Aaron Prior-Auth admits he was flustered when nurse practitioner Karen Kaufmann called him up to get a “banana bag, stat!”  Using his instincts, he drummed up what was in his mind the obvious solution.

“I ran to the supermarket, grabbed a bunch of bananas, and put them in a bag,” said a nervous Prior-Auth, heading back into his car with a bag of bananas in hand.  “How many?  I just grabbed the biggest plastic bag I could find in the produce section and stuffed it full of bananas.  This bag’s pretty darn heavy, I hope the bag doesn’t break!”

According to Prior-Auth, he didn’t question the motive but felt that the nurse practitioner who called him “certainly made it seem urgent,” which is why he didn’t hesitate to hop in his car and make towards the nearest Foodland.  He admits the pharmacy doesn’t carry a regular supply of fruits.

“I just figured a patient was severely hypokalemic and that an oral bolus of bananas would be gentler than oral potassium on the stomach or IV potassium through the vein,” he told Gomerblog.  “It sorta made sense to me at the time.  And it makes sense to me right now actually.”

Gomerblog informed nurse practitioner Kaufmann of Prior-Auth’s antics in the hopes of rectifying the situation.

“Oh goodness!” exclaimed Kaufmann.  “I need to talk to pharmacy right away.  That’s totally my fault: I don’t want a bag of bananas.  I want banana bread instead, stat!”

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    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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