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JERUSALEM – Judas Iscariot, who notoriously betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver, has absolved himself from one of the darkest moments in the Bible by doing the right thing this Good Friday and blaming it all on Anesthesia.

Judas blames Anesthesia
“Jesus, Pontius Pilate, you okay if I tell everyone who is really at fault here?”

“Anesthesia just clouds your thoughts, and in this case, I made the wrong decision and it so happened that decision led to betraying the Son of God.  Thanks a lot, Anesthesia,” Judas said onto Gomerblog.  “I’ve been the scapegoat for millennia, and I thought this was right time to clear things up.”

Judas says having his vision obstructed by Anesthesia’s drape fort didn’t help his situation either.

Asked what He thought, Jesus Christ simply laughed and said, “I knew Judas would betray me.  But guess what?  I also knew that it was Anesthesia’s fault he betrayed me.  What can you do?  We must forgive Anesthesia.  I forgive Anesthesia.”

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.