ATLANTA, GA – Penny Toein has been having seizures for as long as she can remember. Sometimes as many as 30 seizures a day before she started medications.

You just had a seizure…and another one… and another one…

Today she is happy to report that her epilepsy is well controlled. She now has a dozen or fewer well-controlled seizures a day.

“Before my seizures could randomly happen anytime and I would convulse all over the place,” Ms. Toein told Gomerblog, “but now they’re very scheduled on the hour and occur in a very well-controlled predictable pattern.”

“First I fall over, then the legs start followed by the arms. Usually around then I lose continence and it goes on for exactly 47 seconds every time.”

When asked if she has thought about changing her neurologist, Mrs. Toein was a bit perplexed, “Why? Each seizure I have is very well controlled. What could be better than that?”

Naan DerThaal
A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal