CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline
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ATLANTA, GA – Ready for a sweat, America?  In a long overdue and much anticipated update to its 2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) officially recommends adults should do at least 168 hours a week of extreme-intensity aerobic physical activity for substantial health benefits.

extreme exercise, CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, extreme exercise“The data shows that some physical activity is better than none, and the more vigorous the better,” explained CDC Director Robert Redfield, who took over for Brenda Fitzgerald who left to become the new CEO of Philip Morris earlier this year.  “It doesn’t take a scientist to conclude that all physical activity is better than some, and that extreme exercise is better than moderate exercise.  The new guidelines pretty much wrote themselves.”

The 2008 guidelines recommended 150 minutes a week of moderate-intensity or 75 minutes a week of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity, ideally to be done in episodes lasting at least 10 minutes.

The 2018 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans really ups the ante with its “exercise every minute of every hour of every day of your life” recommendation as well as suggesting aerobic activity “should be performed in episodes of at least 24 hours at a time.”  Recommended forms of extreme exercise include completing an ultra marathon, swimming the Atlantic Ocean, or climbing Mount Everest daily.

It is clear the obesity epidemic and the increasing prevalence of chronic diseases related to a Western lifestyle has prompted the revised guidelines.

“Avoiding inactivity is the key to improving our health,” Redfield stated, further explaining the CDC’s concern for the unhealthy habit of Americans sleeping at night, a form of total physical inactivity that can range from 4 to 10 hours at a time.  “Sleeping is the most common form of physical inactivity out there, so get out of bed and exercise to death, that’s the only way to feel healthy and alive!”

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    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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