Amazing! Instant Pot Turns Graham Crackers Into Beef Stroganoff

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beef stroganoff
“Some graham crackers and voila!”

DALLAS, TX – Score another big win for Instant Pot and its followers: Following a brutal overnight call, second-year internal medicine resident and Instant Pot owner, Dustin Andrews, discovered that the Instant Pot can turn two packets of hospital drawer graham crackers into an authentic and mouth-watering beef stroganoff in a matter of 15 minutes.

“I got home post-call, exhausted and hungry, but didn’t have energy to go out or cook something elaborate,” explained Andrews, who describes his overnight call as an unintended fast, not having a single moment to stop and eat a single thing.  “I did have some graham crackers in my white coat pocket though.”

Putting faith into his Instant Pot, Andrews tore open the packaging, relieving the graham crackers out of their original 2003 wrapper, its contents spilling into his Instant Pot Ultra 6-Quart 10-in-1 Multi-Use Programmable Pressure Cooker.  Trying to figure out what was that elusive tenth function, Andrews looked at the underside of the stainless steel device and noted a random button labeled “Beef Stroganoff.”

Ten minutes later, Andrews’ apartment was filled with the enticing aromas of the mid-19th-century Russian dish.  He opened the top and found his Instant Pot filled to the brim with tender cubes of beef, assorted mushrooms, shallots, sour cream, parsley, and pappardelle.

Needless to say, it was delicious.

“The function just says ‘Beef Stroganoff,’ so I wonder what else I can toss in there,” said Andrews, in a way excited for his next overnight call.  “I might scrounge up some old ketchup packets, a discarded placenta, a ginger ale, and see if it can turn any of these things into beef stroganoff.  Gosh, I certainly do love my Instant Pot.”

In other news, Robert Wang, one of the creators of Instant Pot, is said to be working on a medical 11-in-1 Instant Pot that can turn a Full Code into a DNR/DNI in only 5 minutes.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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