Pathologists Suffer Third Degree Sun Burns in Hospital Fire Drill

  • 2.3K
    Shares

Dallas, TX – A routine fire drill at Big Tex Hospital took a turn for the worst, authorities report.

At 11:58 AM, the Big Tex Office of Compliance, Safety, and Online Modules announced the surprise drill. Staff begrudgingly filed out of the building, taking the opportunity to catch up on gossip.

“Everything went off without a hitch,” reports Chief Compliance Officer Kacey Ruban-Rouge. “We were heading back inside to release our modules on the importance of hand washing to prevent burnout when the discovery was made.”

The pathologists, who had used an alternate exit opposite the main entrance, had collapsed. Their pale complexions had turned scarlet over the course of the twenty-minute drill. They were immediately rushed into the medical center for emergent care.

“It is quite unusual to see burns this severe from such limited exposure,” said William Eschar, director of the burn unit. “It appears our pathologists hadn’t left the basement in some time. They didn’t stand a chance in the Texas sun.”

Three of the pathologists are in critical condition and will require multiple surgeries. The most agonizing part of the ordeal are the frequent social interactions with hospital staff, a source close to one of the victims reports.

To insure pathology services are still rendered, a microscope and dictaphone were positioned over each pathologist’s bed. “We’re getting loads of critical care time on top of the pathologist billings – this is truly a breakthrough in hospital revenue streams,” said hospital CEO Clyve Rodman. The elated administrator tipped his cowboy hat as he walked off, shouting “Careful out there today, it’s a scorcher.”

image_pdfimage_print
  • Gomerblog Team

    This author is actually a group of authors that contribute. Many famous Gomerblog authors have published here later to have their works printed under their real name. Maybe one day you too could be part of the Gomerblog team

  • Show Comments

You May Also Like

Hospital Fortress Built to Deter Winter Surge in Patient Volume

543SharesBIRMINGHAM, AL – In an effort to withstand the imminent increase in patient volumes ...

Feline Fibromyalgia Clinic Closes Amid Fraud Accusations

121SharesASHEVILLE, NC – A local veterinary specialty clinic closed its doors on Monday as ...

turkey in code cart

Study Finds Lack of Turkey Sandwiches Correlates with Rise of Death in the ER

851SharesCHICAGO, IL – In a new study done by the Patients For Turkey Sandwiches ...

Comey height tall

Intake Nurse Report: Ex-FBI Director Jim Comey is Really Freakishly Tall

89SharesWASHINGTON, DC – According to numerous nursing sources who have taken his vital signs ...