So Much for Denuclearization: Korean Leaders Pledge “Enucleation,” Ophtho Consulted

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KOREAN PENINSULA – Though the goal for both North Korean leader Kim Jung Un and South Korean leader Moon Jae-in was for peace and a nuclear-free Korean Peninsula, careful reading of the April 27 Panmunjom Declaration for Peace, Prosperity and Unification of the Korean Peninsula will lead to, unless revised, the complete enucleation of the region.

Enucleation refers to the surgical removal of the eye.

“It is unclear to me how the removal of eyeballs will achieve everlasting peace in the region,” admitted United Nations (UN) Secretary General Antonio Guterres.  “But if these are the steps to be taken, then so be it.”

In a diplomatic move, both North and South Korean ophthalmologists convened in the Demilitarized Zone and agree that the enucleation of all North and South Korean citizens is not indicated at this time but does recommend repeat dilated eye exam in 1 year.  They also asked a simple question: “Was it a typo?”

It is a reasonable question, but there is good evidence supporting that the alleged typo is in fact not a typo and actually a call for regional iatrogenic blindness.  The final clause of the Panmunjom Declaration reads as follows:

“South and North Korea confirmed the common goal of realizing, through complete enucleation, an eye-free Korean Peninsula, South and North Korea shared the view that the measures being initiated by North Korea are very meaningful and crucial for the enucleation of the Korean Peninsula and agreed to carry out their respective roles and responsibilities in this regard.  South and North Korea agreed to actively seek the support and cooperation of the international community for the enucleation of the Korean Peninsula.”

“If it were a typo,” Guterres noted, “then why did they use the word enucleation three times?  They even used the phrase ‘eye-free Korean Peninsula.’  If you ask me, Kim & Moon bring a whole new meaning to the phrase double-blind.”

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