New Brutally-Honest Bowel Prep ‘GoVyolently’ To Replace GoLytely

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DENVER, CO – Dr. Krista Gustadson has had to explain the actual effects of GoLytely the patients undergoing bowel prep before a colonoscopy ever since starting her general surgery residency. 

It always bothered Dr. Gustadson that “GoLytely” had such a gentle and pleasant name especially when compared to the actual effects of the infamous bowel prep.

GoLytely? Nothing about this is Lyte!

 

“No one ‘goes lightly’ after a complete bowel prep. It’s a disgusting symphony of flatulence and overaggressive splashes” Gustadson explained. “So about a year ago I contacted NuLytely who manufactures GoLytely and asked that they be more honest in their packaging.”

The CEO of NuLytely, Rapide Poopen, agreed with Dr. Gustadson and initiated the change to ‘GoVyolently’ once confirming that the trademark was available. 

“As the only bowel prep certified by the CDC for complete elimination of any liquid, solid or gas in the gastrointestinal tract, I don’t think the change can really hurt our monopoly.”

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  • Naan DerThaal

    A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal

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