physical exam

Ode to the Death of the Physical Exam

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Here ye, here ye
On this day we take the time to remember
The loss of a fond friend,
The physical exam

Gone are the days
Of the bedside JVP
Absent a waves, dominant v waves,
Now we just Lasix them all

There is no-one to appreciate
The subtle art of Trousseau sign
Or even the grade 1 diastolic murmur
(That probably doesn’t exist)

What need are there for speculums
When you can just consult GYN
Or the need for reflex hammer
When you can give Neuro a call?

I look fondly on the days as a young med scholar
Doing a full respiratory exam
Does anyone ever do anymore
The whispered pectoriloquy?

Here we lay to rest,
The art of touching the patient
Now we fast track
And roll them through the CT scanner

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