hospital credentialing

Patient Tips for a Pleasant Stay at Your Local Hospital

  • 245

hospital credentialing

When it comes to your medical care, you have a lot of choices. At the world-renowned Ivory Tower Medical Center, we want your experience to be top-notch and lead you to never want to set foot in another hospital ever again. Here are some tips that will help you prepare for your stay at our institution:

* To make sure we don’t miss anything important, you’ll be asked your medical history a few times. Like thirty-seven.

* Our doctors make up 70% of your local magazine’s “Top Docs” list. We ensure this every year by sending out organizational-wide emails begging us to vote for each other.

* We have subspecialists for every possible medical condition. They’ll all visit you during your stay, but you won’t know who’s actually in charge of your care.

* We’re committed to Patient-Centered care. To focus just on you, we’ll wait until the moment your family steps out of the room to come in and share critically-important updates and test results with you.

* We pride ourselves on using new, cutting-edge therapies. Regardless of medical necessity, every patient will be placed on at least one drug that ends in ‘-umab’, ‘-imab’, or ‘-inib’.

* As a training institution, we have lots of brilliant medical students and residents. They’ll be happy to talk with you about how life is exactly like Grey’s Anatomy.

* Being a large and complex institution, we’re experts in coordination-of-care. Though you may experience numerous inconsistencies and mixed messages between your doctors and nurses, we swear your care teams are talking to each other.

* We’re constantly striving to provide more efficient and high-valued health care. To minimize wasteful communication, we’ve discontinued certain wasteful practices such as sending your primary care doctor a discharge summary or an updated medication list.

* Not every man who steps into your room is a doctor, and not every woman is a nurse. Just sayin’.

  • Doc Around the CLock

    Doc Around the Clock is a Pediatric Emergency Medicine physician, ER Medical Director, and proud owner of a Minivan. He used to record Simpsons episodes on VHS, had a subscription to Mad magazine, and still stays up to watch Saturday Night Live (though falls asleep after Weekend Update)…so, yeah, you can expect some fresh, cutting-edge medical satire. When he’s not in the ER trying to prevent safety events, in a meeting about a safety event, or writing an email about a safety event, you can find and follow Doc Around the Clock on Twitter @ERDoc4Kids.

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

ACGME Announces Interns are Eligible for Professional Degree in Secretarial Studies

987SharesAfter careful review of the national curriculum across all departments, the ACGME announced on ...

U.S. economy crashes ICU

Breaking: U.S. Economy Crashes, Transferred to ICU

483SharesNEW YORK, NY – Gomerblog has learned that the U.S. economy is crashing and ...

Homeless da Vinci Robot Seen Begging for Spare Surgeries

5.3KSharesATLANTA, GA – Sources close to GomerBlog report that a homeless da Vinci Robot ...