Optometrist, Ophthalmologist to Duke it Out at Flagpole at 3 PM Tomorrow

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CHICAGO, IL – With many in health care wondering if this is the apotheosis between two long-time warring factions, optometrist Rick Fovea and ophthalmologist Craig Sclera have agreed to meet at the flagpole at 3 PM tomorrow to settle their differences old-school.

The history between Optometry and Ophthalmology is a bloody one. 

An armistice was agreed upon back in 2011, however, hostilities have ramped up in the past few years. 

For unclear reasons, Fovea called out Sclera today telling him to “Hand over one of those H’s, punk.”  Sclera, not yielding any ground, was quick to retort, dangling all those H’s in ophthalmology in front of Fovea.  “If you want it, come and get it.”   

Those within eyeshot, observed escalating and devastating verbal blows to each other.

Finally, the two agreed on the flagpole.

In sort of related news, there is no flagpole on the medical campus which begs the question if both Fovea and Sclera need to have their eyes checked.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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