routine blood work urine

Specialist comes clean, reports maybe 40% of all consults were actually interesting

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In a stunning revelation this week, cardiologist Dr. Jeff Dykes estimates that despite writing “thank you for the interesting consult” on all of his consult notes, he found many of the cases, in fact, dull and even inappropriate.

routine blood work urine
“I don’t know how else to say it, so I’ll just say it… Your consult was NOT interesting.”

“I was living a lie,” said Dr. Dykes, after years of seeing inpatient consults for non-cardiac chest pain. Many of the hospital house-staff are in disbelief. Amanda Kruger, second year medicine resident, always thought “Dr. Dykes genuinely found these cases interesting, that’s why we kept consulting him. I mean, he said so in his notes.”

Many specialists around the nation are thanking Dr. Dykes for his “brave admission” and fellow specialists “finally feel comfortable” speaking out. Specialists around the world are now tweeting their stories of inappropriate consults with the hashtag “#nothanks”.

When asked why he lied about being thankful and finding the consults interesting, Dr. Dykes said he was “just being polite”.

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