medical consult
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medical consult

Initial consult notes usually end with the following line: Thank you for the interesting consult.  What does that really mean?  In the first of a two-part series, our GomerBlog translators will help break down what a certain provider or subspecialty means when they write down this phrase.

Anesthesiology

Translation: So this is what a non-sedated human being looks like?!

Any Consultant Who (1) Thinks a Consult is Stupid or (2) is Fielding the Consult Between 5 PM and 5 AM

Translation: (1) You suck, (2) I hate you for making me stay late, (3) I hate you for waking me up, or (4) I’m gonna get you back for this.  Be warned: the consultant’s note will be quite passive aggressive.  For example: an irritated infectious diseases consultant may not write “afebrile,” but instead write “not even febrile once.”

Any Medical Student

Translation: Thank you, thank you, thank you!  I got to spent twelve hours with this patient and I learned so much!  I’ll remember this forever and ever!  Boy, I cant wait to go home to read up on this one!  Did I mention to say thank you?

Any Resident

Translation: WTF.

Cardiology

Translation: Ive sign higher troponinsCardiologists typically let out a giant yawn after fielding your consult.

Cardiothoracic Surgery

Translation: Why havent you called Cards or ID yet?

Dermatology

Translation: Please don’t call me on eczema ever again.

Emergency Medicine

Translation: Since when do I field consults and how on earth did you convince me to do this one?!

Endocrinology

Translation: I know you think its adrenal insufficiency, but its not adrenal insufficiency.

Gastroenterology

Translation: I cant believe you let this guy eat.  Make him NPO.

General Surgery

Translation: Haha, I cant believe you let me get away with not being the primary team on this case!  Sucker!

Hematology/Oncology

Translation: That peripheral smear really turned me on.

Hospital Medicine

Translation: Seriously, do you not know how to restart antihypertensive medications?

Infectious Diseases

Translation: Thank you for this interesting consult!  These guys are cerebral and really do enjoy challenging cases.  These guys are also socially awkward.

Nephrology

Translation: (1) Stop calling me on high potassiums due to hemolyzed samples or (2) Try fluids or diuresis; its one or the other.

Neurology

Translation: If I see one more pseudoseizure I swear…

Check out What “Thank You for the Interesting Consult” Really Means, Part 2

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  • Adam Sorensen

    Looooove it! Derm could also often read, “How do you not know this is an outpatient problem”.

  • Katherine Adelicia Hedian

    Had TWO pseudo seizure patients come in last week.

  • Kristy Crimmins

    Love it!

  • Elizabeth Charles

    I hope this was a resident/student or a janitor?? If not that person should not be a Dr.

  • Kamran Manek

    Ameer Musa

  • Lyubov Burleson

    One more for Psych ( had lots), ” thank you for” Depression “consult for 2-3 rd day after Alcohol intox patient; is it possible that he just hanged over and disphoric?!!”

  • Brandt Whitehurst

    General Surgery: For the tenth time this week, it’s an ileus, not a bowel obstruction.

  • Brandt Whitehurst

    General Surgery: For the tenth time this week, it’s an ileus, not a bowel obstruction.

  • Nicole Lavelle

    For psych: thanks for yet another consult that the social worker could have handled!

  • Nicole Lavelle

    For psych: thanks for yet another consult that the social worker could have handled!

  • Gomerblog

    Fantastic idea!

  • Gomerblog

    Fantastic idea!

  • Jeanny Morejon

    This is hysterical!!!!!

  • Ahmad Alkaddour

    Abdul Kader Tabbara

  • Sean Nix

    I like the general surgery one!

  • Sushma Chandramouli

    They left out psychiatry because we do not even want to fake being thankful for a consult!

  • Elaine Collier Schwartz

    So when are you going to ask for patient’s responses? I could give you a few!

  • Elaine Collier Schwartz

    So when are you going to ask for patient’s responses? I could give you a few!

  • Kerra Lewis

    That was great lol!!

  • Samar Alsunaid

    Bisi Hollist

  • Robert Fakheri

    There should be a translation for private practice attendings: “thank you for allowing me to bill for this totally unnecessary consult. I plan to be completely useless but will follow anyway and write daily copy/paste notes until the patient is discharged or it becomes awkward”

  • Joel Abramovitz

    Neurosurgery: yup, the MRI was a) positive b) negative c) pending but the patient does want surgery. Third case tomorrow.

  • Tammy Elizabeth

    Or…”Do you even know what we do?”

  • Tammy Elizabeth

    Preventive Medicine: How did you find out we exist?

  • Jen Floyd

    Neuro, truth.

  • Melissa Lefebvre

    True story Medicine consult from Surgery: Hyperglycemia management in a patient on D10 fluids. Ummm step 1, D/C D10. Step 2, smack some common sense into the surgery resident.

  • Michele Hills

    I hope in part 2 you include psyche :) Best consults ever!

  • Ancy George

    Jannet Alejandra Tobon figured youd find this amusing

  • Michelle Shlomit

    haha love it!

  • Gramma Bustin

    This is hysterical!

  • Roshe Gnana

    Love it!

  • Joanie Sapienza

    Bahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahaha! This is so funny! I almost needed a urology consult reading this!

  • Hilary ‘Thege’ Byma

    David Van Dyke Anna Berkenpas Ter Beek Tracy Norris Slager Sarah Reese Lickiss #funnynotfunny

  • Sandy Salter Mosley

    Brandy Cooper Mosley Stephanie King Alisa Ruffner Brooke Wilder Knapp

  • Sonia Mathew

    Ah ha !! so now I know what you really think ;)

  • Cristina Artiles

    Oh how about gyn- woman 4weeks pregnant with vaginally bleeding. And her BHCG<2.

    NOT pregnant!!! Menstruating.

  • So Ni

    Psychiatry: oh, wait, we don’t say that

  • Mae Timbol

    Valerie Jorge CabreraDina AbdelwahabSherry MansourDennis MoledinaNadeen J. KhouryJuan Sebastian Calderon

  • Ryan Crooks

    If I see one more pseudoseizure, I swear….get an EEG and MRI.

  • Dariush Takhtehchian

    Lol. #truth

  • Courtney Joyce

    Please need a rad onc one… This patient has been in the hospital for 20 days any on Friday at 4:45 PM he has brain mets.

  • James Joubert

    Yep.

  • Iram Ahsan

    Haha!! This is so true:)))

  • David Chambers

    Yeah, and every patient is a “very pleasant” gentleman or woman.

  • Debbie Bridges

    Lol

  • Sherri TenNapel Ekobena

    love it!

  • Stephanie Jamison

    David Chambers

  • Bob Kelso

    Jane Ly, sound familiar?

  • Rami Horani

    Patrick Jackson Parsha Dorriz

  • K. Laurie Green

    Dan Soule

  • Ahana Roy

    roflmao

  • Michelle Renee Baird

    Matt Simmons when I read that, I thought of you and I was like, uhhhh HELL no. Lol

  • Shannon Hopkins

    I should have gone into ID…

  • Ann Ruark Hoskins

    haha! :-)

  • Matt Simmons

    Socially awkward? Me? Never…

  • Mike Royer

    Lol Jian didnt we talk about this a year ago?

  • Jessica Cottreau

    :) we’re suckers…

  • Betsy Bea

    Lol, the ID one Monica Jessica

  • Michelle Renee Baird

    Haha…… Kristen Bell, Matt Simmons, Anthony Parravani, Anthony Roda-Renzelli, Corbin Hodder, any truth to this?? Lol

  • Michelle Villarta

    Thanks for the RVU

  • Edi Berbic

    Paul Thethi

  • Josh Conroy

    not febrile even once Alex Nesbitt

  • Karen McAllen

    Beata Rivard…I love the ID one!

  • Drew Pento

    Shelli Nally Shaw Robin Fitzgerald

  • Anthony Speights

    Consult Gyn ….Vaginal bleeding, cyclically about once a month….is she under 12 or over 50…NO….PERIOD dumbass!!!!

  • Gregg Horras

    this article forgot psychiatry: “That’s right, I’m not really going to do anything to get this patient discharged sooner.”

  • Joy Mayer DeHaven

    OMG…scaring my kids by how hard I was laughing.

  • Haris Turalic

    my favorite 2AM WTF consult when I was a fellow: patient with bradycardia. HR is 50bpm. OK? Is he symptomatic? No, he is sleeping.

  • Donald Jordan

    We have a Cardiologist who has trained his Dragon to transcribe “Thank you for this consult, I will follow closely” every time he says “Bullshit”.

  • Kathleen Moltz

    Endocrine: It isn’t adrenal insufficiency, and your obese patient doesn’t have diabetes yet.

  • Allison Redden

    Wound Care… You called me for intact skin with blanchable redness again!

  • Marat Goldenberg

    Seen it, done it, said it

  • Jennifer Spickler McGuire

    Rachel Carty Moehlmann do you know who this sounds like? Lol.

  • Eileen Left

    :) for Peds- thank you for that interesting consult for chronic abdominal pain. 9 times out of ten -The child is full of poop.

  • Sarah Scholl

    Totally accurate. Totally. You really can’t effing start the patient’s home metoprolol?!

  • Catherine Carter

    cracking up at these, thank you

  • Denise McPherson

    Spot on!

  • Campbell Holinger

    And this is exactly why I will never leave EM: “Since when do I field consults and how on earth did you convince me to do this one?!”

  • Robin Fahringer Mitchell Machajewski

    LMAO!! Those last few were spot on!

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