Urologist Anxiously Awaits Cryptorchid Ball Drop

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SAN DIEGO, CA – Local Urologist, Aric Triwenga MD, has an eccentric tradition that he carries out every New Years while hundreds of millions around the world tune in to New Years Rockin’ Eve to watch the ball drop in Times Square.

Dr. Triwenga instead will be on the Peds ward surrounded by babies with cryptorchidism waiting for their balls to drop.

10, 9, 8, 7….

“I tried doing a countdown, but its really anticlimactic when you get to zero for the 34th time and no balls drop.” Dr. Triwenga explains, “I’ve found that simply waiting and letting the balls drop on their own is usually the most productive strategy.”

When asked how long he has waited, Dr. Triwenga said “Up to 6 months. I’m a very patient man but eventually even my patience wears out and I’m going in after those little nuts.”

“I’ll try some hCG injections once in a while if I’m feeling frisky, but in general it’s wait until scalpel time. The amount of time I’m willing to wait is decreasing as I age. I’m not trying to be Dick Clark sitting here waiting on balls to drop until I’m 80!”

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  • Naan DerThaal

    A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal

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