Urologist Anxiously Awaits Cryptorchid Ball Drop

  • 4K

SAN DIEGO, CA – Local Urologist, Aric Triwenga MD, has an eccentric tradition that he carries out every New Years while hundreds of millions around the world tune in to New Years Rockin’ Eve to watch the ball drop in Times Square.

Dr. Triwenga instead will be on the Peds ward surrounded by babies with cryptorchidism waiting for their balls to drop.

10, 9, 8, 7….

“I tried doing a countdown, but its really anticlimactic when you get to zero for the 34th time and no balls drop.” Dr. Triwenga explains, “I’ve found that simply waiting and letting the balls drop on their own is usually the most productive strategy.”

When asked how long he has waited, Dr. Triwenga said “Up to 6 months. I’m a very patient man but eventually even my patience wears out and I’m going in after those little nuts.”

“I’ll try some hCG injections once in a while if I’m feeling frisky, but in general it’s wait until scalpel time. The amount of time I’m willing to wait is decreasing as I age. I’m not trying to be Dick Clark sitting here waiting on balls to drop until I’m 80!”

  • Naan DerThaal

    A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal

  • Show Comments

You May Also Like

iv pole medical student

In Cost-Cutting Measure, IV Poles to Be Replaced with Eager Medical Students

7.3KSharesBIRMINGHAM, AL – Earlier this week, administrators and health care practitioners at Birmingham Medical ...

Student Taking the MCAT Fails After Saving Proctor

159SharesPHILADELPHIA, PA – An unbelievable event occurred yesterday afternoon in the Prometric MCAT computer ...

Surgeon in Corner Running the Da Vinci is Actually Just Playing Video Games

466SharesCOLUMBUS, OH – A revelation concerning the function of the da Vinci robot console ...

Warren Beauty Oscars anesthesia

Warren Beatty, La La Land Blame Oscar Best Picture Mix-Up on Anesthesia

6.5KSharesHOLLYWOOD, CA – In a stunning and unprecedented finish to the Oscars last night, ...


Orthopod Agrees to Work Pro Bono, Thought It Was Pro Bones

1.8KSharesCHARLOTTE, NC – Recent orthopedic surgery graduate, Dr. Henry Hammer, graciously agreed to include ...

troponin leak

99% of Health Care Practitioners Have a Troponin Leak at Work

4.6KSharesNEW YORK, NY – Have you ever groaned because someone checked a troponin on ...