This fall, fourth-year medical students everywhere are able to apply to a ‘woke’ new specialty: Drama Surgery.
“Due to the increasing number of millennials interested in surgery, we feel that this is the perfect time to introduce this new specialty. Millennials are becoming so good at turning everything into a huge freaking deal that we really think this will be perfect,” ACGME President Thomas Nasca told GomerBlog.
It is anticipated that the specialty will bring all sorts of changes to the surgical world. For example, morning rounds will include hip millennial phrases such as “Ms. Thompson is feeling on fleek this morning after her cholecystectomy yesterday #Turnt.”
Regarding documentation, it is expected that all patient notes will be written using only emojis. Residents will be expected to use their iPhones to live-text these notes while at patients’ bedsides. Additionally, during residency training residents will spend a 6-month period rotating on the set of Grey’s Anatomy in order to learn better theatrical skills to make even the most mundane of situations more dramatic.
Work hours could also decrease drastically compared to traditional surgical specialties. The purpose of this is to allow residents more time to Netflix and Chill. “We have noticed that Millennials don’t really like to work. Everything is about work-life balance. Apparently, the struggle is real. Did I use that phrase right?”
One fourth-year medical student, Grayson Jackson, reported being very excited to apply to Drama Surgery. “This specialty is definitely Goals AF. I have, like, been waiting for this my whole life. I can’t even. I’m just worried I’m too Basic to match.”
Nasca says they are anticipating that this addition will make dermatology significantly less competitive because Drama Surgery residents will have similar lifestyles but still be able to feel like real doctors.