hangnail hangnails
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WASHINGTON, DC – Citing a more aggressive approach to the management of hangnails, the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) is now recommending hand amputation as best practice and the new standard of care.

hangnail hangnails
Sorry, sir, the hand needs to come off

“In the past, we used to recommend fairly conservative measures: not ripping it off; and instead washing with soap and water, removing with a nail clipper, and even applying topical antibiotics,” explained AAD President and maculopapular guru Dr. Abel Torres.  “Over time, we realized this method left too much up to chance.  Amputation is definitely the way to go.”

If the patient is symptomatic from a hangnail on their fourth finger on his or her left hand, the AAD recommends amputation of the left hand, not just the finger, stating that if one finger on a given hand is afflicted than “the rest of that hand is basically f**ked.”

If a patient is asymptomatic from a hangnail on the pinky finger on his or her right hand, the AAD recommends amputation of the right hand, saying it is “best to nip hangnails in the bud entirely.”

“We know this might take some time to adopt across the country, and the implementation of new guidelines no matter what the medical topic typically is slow,” explained Torres.  We pressed him further, asking why hand amputation is the best cure for hangnails and wasn’t it too aggressive.  He disagreed.  According to Torres, “It is difficult to develop hangnails on a wrist stump.”

 

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