Hospital Administrator Accidentally Touches Patient

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BOSTON, MA – Massachusetts General Hospital Vice President for Floor Nurse Oversupervision, Michael Huffenstuff MBA, OPP, POS, had a terrifying experience this past week. 

Why is someone that sick walking around in a public area of the hospital right by my office!

Huffenstuff explains, “I was heading to my car in my reserved parking spot at the end of the day. It was about 3 pm, I rounded a corner and walked right into a patient! I probably have MRSA, VRSA, and even NASA all over me now!”

“He was just walking through the hallway like a regular human being… I can still feel his gown and hear his coughing. Why is someone that sick walking around in a public area of the hospital right by my office!” Huffenstuff continued. 

“I wouldn’t have gone into hospital administration if I wanted to be exposed to patients and all of their diseases. Patients belong on spreadsheets and in the EMR, not in the hallways of a hospital!”

Huffenstuff was last seen climbing into his black Mercedes SUV ranting about the risk of getting caught in traffic due to this traumatic incident and not leaving the hospital until “almost 4pm!”

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  • Naan DerThaal

    A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal

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