AANA: ‘Despite Having Much Less Training CRNAs Also Equivalent to Neurosurgeons, Fighter Pilots, and LeBron James’

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PARK RIDGE, IL – The American Association of Nurse Anesthetists (AANA) ruffled a lot of feathers and raised a lot of logical thinking eyebrows today when they announced that despite significantly less training, CRNA’s are as good as Anesthesiologists and no longer need supervision which is still required in most states.

AANA President Garry Brydges PhD, DNP, MBA, ACNP-BC, CRNA, FAAN, BLS, ACLS, PALS, BA, GED, OPP… spoke about the announcement in an interview today, “While we’re at it, CRNA’s are just as good at brain surgeries as Neurosurgeons, just as good as flying F-15’s as fighter pilots and  just as good at basketball as LeBron James. Saying we aren’t is essentially fraud and just prevents us from making more money that we deserve. It’s already been proven that we’re just as good at taking breaks as Anesthesiologists.”

CRNA’s basically do everything as well as anyone.

“Show me the evidence that I’m wrong” Brydges continued, “where is the research proving CRNA’s can’t fly jets as well as fighter pilots? I haven’t seen it so we should be allowed to independently fly jets, drop bombs and stuff. It doesn’t matter that fighter pilots have much more training and that fighter pilots typically fly more complicated jets than CRNA’s with private pilot licenses. CRNA’s have to watch Top Gun several times before even being accepted to CRNA training which is just as good as going to flight school plus a lot of nurses have flown on a lot of planes before CRNA training. Also, fighter pilot schools regularly inflate the amount of time pilots spend training by including things like simulators, classes about flying and stuff like that. We only include anesthesia relevant pre-CRNA training like working in an outpatient peds clinic, titrating TPN and peripheral edema checks.”

When pushed on the claim about CRNA’s being as good as LeBron James, Brydges was quite defensive, “Have you ever seen LeBron James beat a CRNA in a basketball game? The data to show LeBron is better doesn’t exist so until that data exists, we have to assume that CRNA’s are as good at basketball as an NBA player who has been training for their entire lives to play basketball.”

“Also, we’re not going to let any CRNA’s be in any studies to compare us to Neurosurgeons, fighter pilots or NBA players because there’s no point potentially proving we aren’t as good while we’re making money claiming to be as good.”

“Besides,” Brydges continued, “If we did run into troubles during a basketball game, we’d probably be able to call a better trained, more skilled NBA player in to help bail us out.”

  • Naan DerThaal

    A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal

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