Hospital for Special Surgery Admits to not Being “That Special”

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New York, NY- In an official announcement of something that has been known in ortho circles for quite some time, the Hospital for Special Surgery in NYC announced today that the hospital isn’t really “that special.”

“Effective tomorrow we’re going to be renamed the Hospital for Really Really Good Surgery. It’s the right thing to do.”

HSS President Louis Shapiro was obviously downtrodden when making the announcement today, “we’re still really really good but I don’t think we count as special anymore with so many other great Orthopaedic hospitals and centers of excellence.”

“Sure, we do more joint replacements than any other hospital in the US, but our 10,000 for 22 surgeons isn’t that special when New England Baptist does 6,000 with 12 surgeons in their fellowship program.” Shapiro lamented.

“Also I just heard the Baptist got Magnet status so our run atop the US News and World Reports rankings is likely coming to an end!”

“We’ve still got some rockstar Orthopaedic surgeons like Karen Sutton, Doug Padgett, Todd Albert and the Ranawats, and we’re still really really good at Orthopaedic surgery. We’re just not better than the other really really good places anymore. It’s time our name reflected that” Shapiro continued. 

“Effective tomorrow we’re going to be renamed the Hospital for Really Really Good Surgery. It’s the right thing to do.”

  • Naan DerThaal

    A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal

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