Badass Surgeon Performs Whipple While in Tuxedo

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AUSTIN, TX – The bar for badassery has been raised a notch, so surgeons take note: veteran general surgeon Bob Cooper has just completed a successful 8-hour Whipple (or pancreaticoduodenectomy) while wearing a tuxedo.

“First of all, and most importantly, the patient is doing well and is expected to make a good recovery,” Cooper told Gomerblog, who admittedly looks quite dashing in his attire. He takes off his sterile gloves, which also are surprisingly devoid of blood. He then turns his attention to his tuxedo. To be clear, Cooper didn’t wear a surgical gown or mask. “Can you believe it, not a single spot! I knew I could do it.”

Cooper has entertained the idea for at least a decade.

“Over the past few years, I’ve noticed that when I wrap up a surgery I don’t have a single blood stain, nothing, on my gown or gloves, that’s when the idea started to creep into my mind,” Cooper explained. His tuxedo jacket, vest, bow tie, and dress shirt are completely unblemished. He could enter into a formal event and no one would know he has been in surgery all day. “I had to try.”

Badassery might be the new trend in modern medicine. It started when cardiologist Dr. Barnett Timberland successfully stented his own primary LAD last fall.

“Will I always perform surgeries in tuxedos? Goodness, no,” Cooper continued. “I’m a surgeon. You think I’d ever give up wearing scrubs? What, are you nuts?”

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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