NIH Close to Uncovering Elusive Fifth Abdominal Quadrant

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BETHESDA, MD – Sensing a breakthrough is imminent, scientists at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) have publicly announced they are indeed very close to uncovering the fifth abdominal quadrant.

Modern medicine is almost regularly producing discoveries and breakthroughs. However, doctors and surgeons have been at a standstill for centuries with regards to the number of abdominal quadrants. As it stands, there are four: the left upper quadrant (LUQ), the right upper quadrant (RUQ), the right lower quadrant (RLQ), and the left lower quadrant (LLQ).

The NIH is close to changing that.

“We’ve narrowed the elusive fifth quadrant to a few places, such as the subdiaphragmatic space above the liver and Traube’s space,” explained NIH lead researcher Jose Quintile. “We haven’t identified it just yet, but by process of elimination we are incredibly close.”

The NIH thought they had discovered the elusive quadrant back in September 2017, however, it was a false alarm; they were in the retroperitoneum. It should be mentioned that some researchers to this day believe this is the missing quadrant. Quintile doesn’t believe this is the case, and so he and his team continue the search.

“The abdomen is not only vast, but it contains several organs, contrary to what you must think,” Quintile explained. “For this reason, hunting for the fifth quadrant is no different than looking for intelligent life elsewhere in universe. It will take time, but we must be patient. Hopefully our diligence will pay off.”

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