doctorate of nursing

Nurse Wins Postnomial Abbreviation Pokémon, Catches ‘em All!

  • 1.9K

El Cajon, CA– When Denise Spense RN, BSN, MSN, FNP, DNP, MHNP, PNP, BLS, ACLS, PALS, ATLS, OCCN, CCRN, MBA, MPH, MHA, LPN, CRNA, GED, BFD, JK, LOL was a freshman in college she started taking nursing classes. She was amazed to see one of the lecturers had 7 postnomial abbreviations, “I was in complete awe at how many letter groupings followed her last name. I knew that day, that my lifelong goal was to get all the letters!”

After completing her nursing training, she became Denise Spense RN, BSN, GED. She then obtained BLS, ACLS, and PALS qualifications during her 3 weeks of clinical work before enrolling in a FNP program. 

doctorate of nursing
“I realized that completing my inking Nurse Practitioner training gave me a DNP, FNP, PNP, MHNP, BFD and a MHA. That was the most successful 18 months of my abbreviation hunting career.”

“At that point, I noticed my nephew playing Pokémon go incessantly saying ‘Gotta catch ‘em all!’ It was in that moment that I achieved total consciousness of my life’s purpose,” Spense recalled. “Every waking moment until after that time was spent pursuing more letter groups.”

“I realized that completing my Nurse Practitioner training gave me a DNP, FNP, PNP, MHNP, BFD and a MHA. That was the most successful 18 months of my abbreviation hunting career.”

Now that she has crossed the 20 abbreviation threshold nurse Doctor Spense is pondering her next move, “I guess I’ll have to go do some actual patient care. I always feared it would come to this. I figure a good 8-9 months of this and The Joint Commission will hire me. That’s the dream anyway!”

  • Naan DerThaal

    A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal

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