Shmedtronic Release New ICD-Pacemacer-WiFi Hotspot

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ST. PAUL, MN – In response to patient feedback on how to make their medical devices even better, Shmedtronic is slated to release a new combined implantable cardioverter-defibrillator (ICD), permanent pacemaker (PPM), and WiFi hotspot in February.

Shmedtronic told Gomerblog that the new device was specifically designed based on feedback from over several thousand patient surveys, where the number one most requested improvement was having wireless networking capabilities.

“The older ICD-PPM model probably saved my life on a couple of occasions,” wrote one anonymous patient in one of the Shmedtronic surveys. “But when I’m feeling well and not dealing with any issues related to my heart, I have to use data on my phone plan, which is a complete downer. Isn’t there any way we can fix that?”

Another patient echoes the same theme in another survey: “This device has shocked me out of dangerous rhythms several times, but while I waited for EMS I couldn’t surf the web since I was in a 4G and WiFi dead zone. What gives, Shmedtronic?”

According to interventional cardiologists, placing an ICD/PPM/WiFi device is similar to implanting previous Shmedtronic devices. The only difference is to confirm functionality they check both Facebook and last night’s scoreboard.

Study patients who have used the new combined ICD/PPM/WiFi device note significantly fewer episodes of symptomatic tachycardia now that the stress of accessing a good connection has been dramatically reduced. One cardiologist involved in the study is “confident” that most episodes of symptomatic arrhythmias are “due to the stress of finding a good WiFi connection.”

Shmedtronic states the only drawback of the new device, which “isn’t too big of a deal,” is that if you share password access to your WiFi, then others can change the settings on your pacemaker and defibrillator.

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