NEW YORK, NY – Contented to spend the end of 2019 on the couch with all the television coverage of the Times Square ball drop on mute, the nation’s untreated ENT patients are not looking forward to ringing in yet another New Year’s with incapacitating tinnitus.

Collectively they are not on any medications that could cause this most resolute of symptoms, and all have been reassured by ENTs throughout the year it is likely viral and will pass even though it’s been going on for some months or years by now.

As you count down 10, 9, 8… and wonder where your friend or loved one is, they’re just covering their ears with their hands and ear muffs, trying to suppress the urge to scream and cry, which is their own way of joyously expressing “Happy New Year!”

Or should we say, “Happy New Ears!” (Silly joke FTW!)

Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.