Reuben sandwich

Bound to Happen: Speech Therapist Nearly Chokes to Death on Lunch

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CHATTANOOGA, TN – Shortly after completing a swallow evaluation on his last patient of the morning, a hungry speech therapist Pete Echols had an inadvertant choking episode while trying to inhale his oversized Reuben sandwich.

“Looks like this guy needs a swallowing evaluation!” joked fellow speech therapist Amy Cook, who successfully administered the Heimlich maneuver on Echols. Echols is still catching his breath, tears forming in both eyes from the close call. “You’re an aspiration risk and an embarrassment. Don’t you remember at all what you teach your patients?”

As punishment for shaming his fellow colleagues, Echols has been made by NPO and is currently awaiting a modified barium swallow. His Reuben, pickle, French fries with ketchup, and Cherry Coke have been confiscated and given to those who know not to eat so fast.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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