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TALLAHASSEE, FL – Standardized patient Lily Huron has left against medical advice (AMA) once she game to grips that none of these medical students would cave in and give her IV Dilaudid, Gomerblog reports.

The incident took place at the Clinical Learning Center (CLC) at Florida State University’s (FSU) College of Medicine.

“The standardized patients were asked to portray a classic case of acute cholecystitis, with fevers and right upper quadrant pain,” explained CLC director Cody Glands, who is admittedly a bit frazzled. “It quickly became clear to all of us watching this standardized patient was drug-seeking.”

Third-year FSU medical student Amanda Shore relays her experience.

“I knocked on the door and entered the standardized patient’s room,” Shore told Gomerblog, “and before I could even say hello, the standardized patient said ‘Are you my doctor who is managing my pain regimen? Because this Tylenol isn’t cutting it.’ Immediately I knew this was a red flag.”

The four medical students who followed Shore had similar encounters with the standardized patient. Huron refused to answer any questions and refused to be examined. None of the FSU medical students were comfortable giving IV Dilaudid.

“Ms. Huron became very belligerent, screaming course words at the students, demanding to see their attending and even the CEO,” explained Glands. “Even when the students explained this was all a simulated experience and that no medications were actually available at the Clinical Learning Center, she continued to beg for narcotics.”

The standardized patient finally left the simulation AMA when the students refused to give her IV Benadryl. She left the CLC still dressed in her hospital gown.

“On her way out,” Shore continued, “she gave us the finger and told us she was going straight to another simulation center to get pain meds. Well, good luck we told her. Good luck.”

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.