Cardiothoracic Surgeon Dreams of Becoming Hollywood Star

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What an 'amazing dream' last night
What “an amazing dream” last night

NEW YORK, NY – Prominent cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Dale Enderwood had “an amazing dream” last night and he woke up wishing he could return to that dream.

What’s this amazing dream you may ask?  Well, it just may surprise you.

Dr. Enderwood graduated from one of the most prestigious cardiothoracic residency programs in the US and went on to research and perform cutting edge “off pump” bypass procedures.  He was able to perform up to 6 CABGs or valve replacements a day and won the respect and admiration from his colleagues.  This wasn’t enough though for Enderwood, but his dream changed everything.

“There I was, up on stage in front of millions, preaching about diets and bowel issues,” says Enderwood.  “Oprah was there in the back cheering me on as ‘America’s Physician’ and Dr. Phil was slow clapping for me as I flawlessly performed on stage.”  The dream only got more exhilarating for Enderwood.

“Oh, you wouldn’t imagine the stage props that I had.  I had a huge plastic replica of a colon to walk through, followed by hundreds of pounds of butter to demonstrate the average American diet in a year.  When I walked through that colon, I was in heaven!” exclaimed Enderwood.

“There I was, spewing all kinds of advice on diets, orgasms, incontinence, with no medical literature to back up my recommendations.  It was fantastic.”

Enderwood, a cardiothoracic surgeon, went on to describe a specific medical recommendation that he couldn’t believe he said.  “I told everyone that apple juice has arsenic in it.  People started throwing apple juice away immediately.  The truth is, I just hate apples and thought it would be a good joke.”

However, the best part of Enderwood’s dream came next, when he dressed up as a drag queen and tried to sell shoes in a mall.  “Ahh man, I mean, being a cardiothoracic surgeon is alright, but being able to try and sell shoes in a store as a drag queen… Priceless!”

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