SOCHI, RUSSIA – Famous sports anchor Bob Costas has been plagued by a recent eye infection. The infection started in his left eye and has moved over to his right eye. This frustrating infection has forced him to remove his contacts and to use glasses. Executives at NBC do not like people in glasses and even a legend like Costas is being asked to sit out some broadcasts.
This infection couldn’t have come at a worse time according to Costas. “This is MY event, and this damn infection ruined my moment… I’m done… Stupid, stupid eye infection!”
The infection is starting to meet the same fate of Bob Costas: it’s starting to be infected. “I was becoming a staple during the nation’s prime time Olympic coverage,” Costas’ eye infection told reporters. “I was starting to become a household name, people were talking about me at the dinner table.”
The infection went on to say how much pride it had when people would continue to rub their eyes while watching Costas. “It was getting to the point where people weren’t paying attention to what Bob was saying. They were just staring at his eyes, I mean ME.”
Costas’ eye infection came clean: “I’m starting to get an infection, which may limit my ability to infect Bob’s eyes, and I may have to leave the games early,” said the infection. “I was aiming for gold, but it looks like I’ll be walking away with bronze. These gentamicin drops are killin’ me.”
“I waited patiently to infect Mr. Costas’ eyes just for this leading international sporting event,” said the infection. He went on to tell us that his friends and family, usually found on little kids’ eyes, were all watching and he feels like he is letting them down. “This infection that I’m getting may actually take me out completely. I’d expect to see a healthy-eyed Costas by the end of the games.”
“Had I infected him too much, he would have been taken off the air, which means I would have been off the air. Just the right amount of infection paid off, but I guess what goes around comes around, and alas I got infected.”