Patient with High Pain Tolerance, Surprisingly… In Pain

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I will not go home until I get to the bottom of this non-specific 10/10 pain
I will not go home until I get to the bottom of this non-specific 10/10 pain

LANCASTER, IL – Local resident, Shirley Homes, came to St. Joe’s Emergency Room with a shocking complaint: she was in pain.  This emergency pain occurring to Ms. Homes has been reoccurring for the past 12 years +/- 3 months.  This is surprising to many of her care takers because, per her history, she has one of the “highest pain tolerances in the country.”

“I am in pain and I have a very high pain tolerance,” said the woman who has such a high pain tolerance that al-Qaeda could never pry information out of her using torture techniques, or so she claims.

Shirley has been in pain for the past few years and her pain source has completely baffled most physicians.  “I have no idea what could be causing this pain,” Dr. Watkins told reporters.  “She has such a high pain tolerance – she told me herself – and to have such high pain scores night after night… and for her to come to the Emergency Room, as this is an EMERGENCY, well it keeps me up at night.”

With nonspecific symptoms and 10/10 pain, she will head to the ER with her flare ups.  However, she is sure to let all know from ER receptionist, to the triage nurse, to the doctor that her 10/10 pain is equivalent to an 18/10 pain for most others.

Doctors think her long allergy list could be linked to her unknown syndrome, which in turn is causing her pain.  “We have contacted many specialists across the country.  What IgE-mediated disease would cause so many allergies and so much pain?  I’ll have my medical students look that one up tonight.  This new disease makes fibromyalgia seem like a walk in the park.”

For now doctors, including Dr. Rogers, are happy Dilaudid helps her pain.  “What are we going to do when this, well whatever it is, starts to become resistant to Dilaudid?  We’ll have a super-pain problem on our hands then.  Just pray that day never comes.”

Dr. Rogers and ER physicians are optimistic regarding her complicated case.  “I’m just happy she tells me up front that she has a high pain tolerance.  It helps me really understand the picture.  She also saves me a lot of time by informing me of the only medication the works for her: the one that starts with a D.”

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  • Bella Gentry

    Can’t wait for the pain-ometer. This is a one. I will turn it up every 10 seconds until we reach 10 or you tell me it’s a match.
    I’m a really nasty doctor. I wait for them to pronounce hyder…hyd…every time. I’m not helpful at all, I just look empathetic and wait for it.

  • Tammy Brewer

    Keith Richards

  • Andrew Williams

    Wonder what the positive predictive value for someone saying they have a high pain tolerance is.

  • Andrea Kottmeier Bonnell

    I always wanted to follow with “How about bitch-slapping?! You allergic to that?!”, but I needed a paycheck.

  • Andrea Kottmeier Bonnell

    Bet she’s allergic to Tylenol, ibuprofen, toradol, talwin, clonidine, etc, etc…

  • Lori Gjerman

    My vote for the head atop the Demerol Pez dispenser: Courtney Love

  • Elisa Carmichael

    My pet peeve: someone rating their pain higher than 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. Makes me want to do bad things.

  • Steve Zanoni

    Love it!

  • Stephanie Yates Hartman

    Sad. But. True.

  • Gomerblog

    What head would be atop a demerol dispenser?

  • Lori Gjerman

    Yes, of course…
    The one that starts with a D
    But NOT Demerol That’s like Pez!!

  • Elizabeth K. Barnes

    Lol

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