hospital ceo salary

Doctors and Nurses Fight Back: Proposal to Link Hospital CEO Salaries to Employee Satisfaction Passes Senate

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CHICAGO, IL – State senators in Illinois voted yesterday 45 to 14 in favor of a new proposal put together by physicians, nurses, and other hospital employees regarding hospital CEO pay.  Proposition 56.3 states, “Hospital CEO pay will be directly linked to employee satisfaction scores from surveys.”

hospital ceo salaryProposition 56.3 came about in the past few years after numerous hospital employees, specifically doctors and nurses, complained about decreasing salaries, increased patient workload, and the dreaded patient satisfaction surveys.  The patient survey scores are now linked to hospital reimbursement and CEOs are torturing hospital employees to squeeze out more money.

Case in point, nurse Rebekah Harris had her license suspended for bringing an alcoholic patient the wrong sandwich in the ICU just last week.  Medical staff are being bullied into running a hotel instead of a hospital, all in the name of pleasing patients so that CEOs end up with positive Google+ and Yelp reviews for the hospital.

“Just last week I had to find 800-thread count Egyptian sheets for a patient’s sensitive skin,” blasted nurse Samantha Quissers.  “I got sent out to Bed Bath & Beyond to uphold the request, ridiculous!”

The medical community stood up for what is right and proposition 56.3 passed with flying colors.  “Finally, we can start holding hospital CEOs responsible for their treatment of hospital employees,” said lead lobbyist Dr. Derrick Wilson.  “If a hospital wants to cut nursing bonuses to pay for a new atrium, they can expect to have their salary cut with negative employee surveys.”

“I think the plan is a brilliant balance of power to keep CEOs in check,” alleged Quissers.  “This way they have to balance the well-being of their patients with the well-being of their staff.”

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  • Avatar
    LordElrond09

    As with the greatest satire, there’s always a kernel of truth to it.

  • Avatar
    Casca

    If only………

  • Avatar
    Margo Johnson

    I love this! shameless plug: my blog is: madness: tales of an emergency room nurse

  • Avatar
    Rex Pfeifle

    Florida Hospital in Orlando gave a 2% bonus in February and we just received our annual raises on the paycheck we received on friday, yes everyone got a 2.5% raise.

  • Avatar
    Julie Fogg Williams

    That would be great. Then maybe admin would listen to what nurses and doctors say they need to take better care of patients.

  • Avatar
    Elizabeth Laitner Heidt

    Refreshing!

  • Avatar
    Rissa Stackhouse

    LOL

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    Aesop

    I just want to note for the record that the author and his accomplices at this site are Masters of Satire, before whom I grovel unworthily.
    I’ve added you to my blog roster at Shepherd of The Gurneys, and wait in heartfelt admiration for succeeding masterpieces.
    Reading past items at breaks has had me clutching my sides laughing the last two shifts. (I think they’re about to demand drug testing because I’m notably too happy when I come back on the floor, and having too much fun in general.)
    Thank you for the public service you perform, even as the sheer loopiness of actual medical news stories makes finding room to parody reality more of a high-wire act every day.
    None of which will keep me from printing this item and putting it up on doors and bulletin boards at work.

  • Avatar
    Robin Fahringer Mitchell Machajewski

    Best article EVER!!!!

  • Avatar
    Patti King

    There are rumors our self insurance program will go away and we will have to go searching for our own. We have an employee pharmacy and this year my cost of my meds have doubled.

  • Avatar
    Toni Thompson

    Any department director too.

  • Avatar
    Toni Thompson

    Not just CEO salaries but any f

  • Avatar
    Elizabeth McLaren

    Amen!

  • Avatar
    Robin Yokes Campbell

    Kerry Campbell

  • Avatar
    Dean Crom

    How about liking there pay to employee satisfaction survey and patient surveys best of both worlds

  • Avatar
    Jacob Broge

    This just made me sad because it so badly needs to happen.

  • Avatar
    Marcie Klemas

    At my hospital we haven’t gotten it for 3 years and they are slowly chopping away at benefits

  • Avatar
    Robert Rau

    Would this work with politicans…..oh hang on….we have elections every couple of years which leaves the country divided…..rich and poor :-s

  • Avatar
    Cam Vessels

    I wish

  • Avatar
    Elizabeth Carpenter

    Unf, I’m sure residents and fellows will still not be counted …

  • Avatar
    Wendie Simonson

    Baaaahaaaahaaaaaaa! That would be awesome if it were true!!

  • Avatar
    Ann Ruark Hoskins

    You’re lucky- WakeMed gave us nothing last year and it’s not looking too good for this year, either :-/

  • Avatar
    Matthew Wasco

    Better add another vice president to the roster to tackle this!

  • Avatar
    Sarah Kohrmann

    Lololololol if only…..

  • Avatar
    Ed Maa

    We had Envigorate come through to make our systems “more efficient” and they eviscerated the nursing staff by up to 35% in some areas. Last time this happened ratios went from 1:4 to 1:6 and people died. Guess we’ll have to wait for the pendulum to swing….

  • Avatar
    Susan Bartmon

    Yeah, that’s the new excuse for everything.

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    Chloe Callicoat-Shepherd

    This would be great if it were implemented into all walks of life, including congress, senate and the presidency, alas, political leaders probably thought of that already…what a hoax.

  • Avatar
    Patti King

    This would be awesome! They make millions at my facility and we couldn’t get our measly 2% this year because they are afraid of the cost of obamacare.

  • Avatar
    Nancy Brooks Welch

    good thinking

  • Avatar
    Betsy O’Herron Tolbert

    Fantastic idea.

  • Avatar
    Tash Hayles

    I wish

  • Avatar
    Lauren Hartman

    Haha! Love it :)

  • Avatar
    Jane Deitz

    Brilliant

  • Avatar
    Vashta Nerada

    Wouldn’t that be great?

  • Avatar
    Harold Arthur Fowler

    hadir menyukai status mu Gomerblog !!!

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