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MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Rebekah Harris had her nursing license suspended indefinitely on Tuesday when administrators learned she ordered her ICU patient the incorrect sandwich.  “She delivered a ham sandwich, to the patient that clearly wanted a turkey sandwich,” said hospital administrator Dennis Johnson.  “We have a zero-tolerance policy for terrible customer service.”

ham club sandwhich
Ham. What is this, prison?

The patient in question, Charles Rodman, has no allergy or ham intolerance, just medical documentation for craving a turkey sandwich with lettuce, tomato, and mustard, hold the mayo.  Curly fries too.  Simple order.

“I clearly documented what my patient wanted to eat in my note’s assessment and plan; we also go over this on rounds,” critical care physician Dr. James Samson told reporters.  “I have no clue how this got screwed up.”

The patient is a frequent flyer, a well-known typical drunk who comes to the ER intoxicated saying he will kill himself, so he spends the night, and gets a meal, only to leave AMA in the morning.  His complaints went straight to the top.

Sources close to Rebekah express concern over her error.  “We found her in her apartment starring, and repeating: ‘5 Rights of Food Administration’… Ah, she is a mess.”

Now that hospitals are reimbursed based on patient satisfaction scores, issues that seem trivial can now make or break a career.  Nursing directors were in full support stating, “If we don’t suspend these nurses’ licenses, they will never learn what’s truly important.”

“Listen, in the ICU you need to watch three to four patients at a time and the ones that can fill out comment cards you have to be on top of their every need.  That intubated patient can’t fill out a survey for weeks so his dopamine drip can wait,” Rebekah’s supervisor said.

“Put the medication order on hold and get on the phone with the cafeteria if you have to, in order to get a flippin’ turkey sandwich with curly fries!”

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  • swampsister

    And if you are floated from a floor that takes more than 2 patients you will find yourself with 4 of the less sick ICU patients even though there is no tech or the support personnel that you have on floors that take more patients. Been there, done that.

  • kidsmom

    Can’t agree more. Our Director told us at a staff meeting to tell all the patients we would “act like their waitresses and get them whatever they want”. Being a nurse has turned into being more responsible for getting patients the food they want, emptying trash cans, and generally acting as glorified slaves.

  • BJC

    Might have been a Muslim!!!! I bet this is true!!!

  • Lynn Derickson

    Hospitals or physicians have no authority to discipline a nursing license…that is the sole responsibility of the state Board of Nursing. This article is bunk!

  • Oh Adams

    The news is misleading. The sandwich contained ingredients to which the patient was allergic and allergy precautions were not taken. That is negligence. Media sensationalism is amazing. They completely hide the facts to make it look stupid so people read and comment on it.

  • Luba Petrusha

    Obama’s hospital? Seriously?

  • Esther Clark

    Did he get his Sierra Mist and dilaudid???

  • Mary

    spoof, satire, or whatever, you are wrong about the frenchfries in the ICU
    2. The nurse DOES order lunch for the ICU patient that is to sick to use the phone , but, not so sick that they cannot use the callbell.
    3. It’s now, 2 OR 3 patients, so get ready to pull your hair out.

  • Kelly Woodford

    If you’re an ICU RN you should know that a hospital can’t suspend a nurse’s license, right?

  • katgal1232

    outrageous, she is not a waitress, she is a trained medical pro.

  • notation

    As you should have realized when you read the word “satire” in the site’s heading.

  • Archangel

    I agree. There isn’t a nursing board anywhere that would tolerate these charges.

  • John

    I can’t believe there are people in the medical profession who are stupid enough to think this is a real article. IT’S CALLED SATIRE.

  • Brad

    All these indignant responses to a satirical writing on a satirical website always make me laugh.

  • Tom Clark

    I have been an ICU RN for over 22 years. One, the hospital can not suspend a nurses license. Only a State’s Board of Nursing can do that. Second, this is not a breach of care or standards of ethics. This was a simple diet mistake. I would simply leave that hospital and go get another job cause the administration of this hospital are fools and jokers. This article is total bullshit!

  • ItsOk Zohnazen

    Whether this fake or true. I was shocked from the what the nursing directors said. We cant take our mistakes for granted but you mean you had never made any mistake in your life? You had and were forgiven. We have to be perfect but cant be always perfect.

  • Marco Bonto RN EMT

    We don’t work for nursing care to satisfy patient’s wants but patient’s
    needs.. a patient might want to be first in the emergency room and might
    fail us in patient score but he needs to wait because another patient
    needs to be treated first. Again, patient surveys are stupid.

  • Cathy Lowry

    I realize this is not true because the state board would have to suspend your license, not a hospital administrator. But it is sad that if hospitals are reimbursed on patient surveys they are not seeing the real picture. Who is more likely to fill out a survey? Someone who is really happy or really upset. And the people who are just content don’t usually fill out surveys.

  • JC

    Satire isn’t satire unless it’s making some kind of social criticism. Otherwise you’re just testing gullibility like April Fools.

  • Gillian

    At my facility, when a patient is admitted, the doctors welcome them by saying “welcome to the hotel.” And that’s how I feel because us nurses are there to provide room service. It’s just ridiculous. Even though this story if false, there’s still something to be said on how the role of nursing is evolving and patient safety is no longer a priority.

  • Jennifer Reminder

    Although I find the idea of suspending a license based on food orders funny, it seems as if is almost possible, PT’s do complain a lot about the food to nurses, I traded in my bar apron for a water and blanket apron….only difference is that we don’t get stiffed on a tip, we get told on… PT’s do tell on nurses for things that are not nursing care, which does in deed make it difficult to take care of the sick, unhealthy patients that truly deserve our care. Nurses do get in trouble if a patient is not happy, and more so if a family is unhappy, and we got into this profession to care for the sick or injured or those that want help. Nurses are around to help, but still so many people think nurses are nothing more than mere waitresses. We watch labs, we watch tele monitors, we make sure air bubbles don’t go through IV lines, we monitor cardiac drips, and manage blood sugars over 800, but if we forget to get someone ice water within the half hour they expect, the director is called, and we have failed at our jobs… I’m so sorry that you don’t have enough cream for your coffee, but that guy over there, well I just called a code and the other staff came to help with CPR and the crash cart to save his life…. he is thankful, his family is thankful, but those with the coffee, they are far from happy, and they are those who will fill out comment cards and drop HCAPS for the hospital.

    Nurses want people to feel well, we want people to be healthy, we want to make sure that we have made an impact, and we want to save lives, but really if I cared about a sandwich…. I would have remained a waitress.

  • Erika

    Why are people given surveys in the first place? So they can complain about something not praise it. Hospitals that base their staffs performance on these surveys have set them up to fail.

  • Patrick Aaron Murphy

    Doh. Just realized this is a satire site. Damn you facebook!

  • Patrick Aaron Murphy

    Seems pretty clear that this story is fabricated. First of all, hospitals don’t have the ability to pull a nursing license. Depending on the state, that would fall to either the Department of Public Health or the Nursing License Board. Also note this article doesn’t contain any external links, only self-referential ones. Also, how was the name of the patient discovered? That’s protected health information under the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act. Also, google searches for information contained in this blog post suggest that this article was completely fabricated.

  • sarah wells

    Yes, it is satire.

  • mahopinion

    What’s funnier is that some of the indignant responses are coming from people purporting to be RN’s.

  • mahopinion

    The appreciation of satire isn’t one of your strong points, is it?

  • Alice Smith

    Hospitals can’t suspend licenses, that it is up to the State board of nursing. The hospital may have suspended her, but that is ludicrous on their part. As a former ICU nurse, there are many more serious things to worry about that ordering an incorrect sandwich.. Most patients in ICU are critically ill and could care less what kind of sandwich they got. Maybe the hospital should be looking into why a frequent flier drunk was in the ICU!!!!!

  • LPonce

    The nurse should sue that freakin freeloader and Obamas hospital!

  • LPonce

    My husbands contract was terminated because a customer gave him a 1 on the stupid company survey. My husband and his helper carried a Samsung refrigerator, dishwasher and two bedroom sets to a third floor condo. They installed both appliances, assembled the beds and made sure every piece of furniture was dust free. The customer said that my husband missed a spot and left dust on one of the night stands. He said, “YOU’RE LUCKY I GAVE YOU A ONE”. My husband had been delivering furniture for 16 years and never recieved negative feedback until he delivered furniture to this freakin lazy a$$!

  • Bazza

    Really dude? You had to go with the full, in-depth investigation to realise this might just be someone taking the p$%s? Wow

  • Cozyrn

    No wonder good people aren’t going into nursing. Because of stupid crap like this.

  • Cozyrn

    Really, this is a joke right?

  • Brad

    The reactions to this article are almost funnier than the article itself. This is a satire blog. However, many of the angry responses are due to how close to home this actually hits, like this doesn’t seem to far off from where we are at now. That on the other hand is understandable anger. It’s also what makes this blog great, it points out the absurdity of our current situation.

  • Jezz-a-belle

    While this may be satire right now, it may be the future of healthcare, since Medicare/Medicaid reimbursement is about to be tied to “customer service” and how the patient perceives they were treated during their stay. I can see something like this becoming a reality in the next 10 years. That’s why I have moved away from bedside nursing.

  • Robbie Jo Mashburn Baggett

    You have got to be kidding me!!! Now if he was allergic to it that would be one thing but to just not get what he wanted!! Since when did hospitals take ORDERS for what a patient wants to eat! Donnie got what ever they had on hand!!! (if it was after hours, and if he did fill out a menu half the time he didn’t get all that he wanted but what they were serving!! This is just stupid!! Give the woman her job back with back pay!!!

  • Sharon Johnston RN

    I say boycott this hospital that caters to drunkin bums! Come stay with me because you are stupid you get whatever is in the refrigerator. Milk and gramcrackers. I bet her drives to the hospital every time! Leave that hospital they are not taking care of their nursing staff!!!!!

  • Rachel

    Agreed… It is painfully obvious that these types of stories are satire before finishing the second sentence. But can be quite funny reading the comments!

  • Linda Gentry

    She didn’t do anything wrong. She probably didn’t serve the patient the sandwich either dietary probably did. No wonder the nurses don’t want to stay in nursing. Nursing isn’t like it use to be I was a nurse for 26 years and this is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard of in my life to suspend a nurse over. It’s looks like common sense has gone out the window!

  • Thunderboy1

    First off, patients in the ICU don’t get french fries. Second, nurses don’t order the lunch for the patient. That’s done by the HUC according to the doctor’s orders. Thirdly, nurses in the ICU don’t typically have more than two patients, because patients in the ICU are usually quite ill and require much attention. Therefore it would be unsafe for the patients to put four of them under the care of one nurse. Lastly, and most certainly most stupidly, nobody found an ICU nurse in their apartment repeating “five rights of food administration”. That simply would never happen, partly because that’s way below what ANY self respecting nurse would do , and partly because there is no such thing as the five rights of food administration. Other than that, this story is fully accurate in that in the ICU there are nurses and patients. .

  • Peggy Blackwell Desormeaux

    Apparently the administrator is an idiot. Someone has got to be pulling a joke. There is such a shortage of nurses. This is plain stupid and can’t be true. Peggy B Desormeaux, RN

  • Gina Cotton Simpson

    Even funnier than the story are all the indignant responses. We are doomed…..

  • Jennifer Beckham Naylor

    Get real. It’s satire. And so close to the reality we deal with that it’s hard to laugh.

  • Jennifer Beckham Naylor

    I believe this representation is dead-on. It illustrates in a tongue-in-cheek way just how bad things have gotten in the ICU environment.

  • Enid Mueller

    Although this article is a spoof, I have been written up for not calling the kitchen to change a patient’s meal. I was busy attending to another patient who was having breathing difficulties. The wife of the patient who wanted his fish sandwich switched for a chicken sandwich did not understand why I was paying “so much attention” to another patient while her husband had “patiently waited five minutes already” for me to order him something different to eat.

  • lenny

    It’s a hoax. No record of this on Minnesota Nursing Board nor in any Twin Cities area newspaper.

  • Diane Chamblee

    As much as nurses have to do and with their work Ioad reaIIY? Some of these DOCTORS need to hire waitresses. These professionaIs in most cases don’t have time to order ham or turkey. She’s an ICU nurse cream of the crop.

  • Debbie Duffield Renfro

    Omg people. This is a satire site!! Go away!

  • Gerry Taylor Downey

    You people do know that this is totally ridiculous ? I cannot believe that someone’s license is dependent on the difference between a ham or turkey sandwich. Are we dealing with adults here or children. Shame on you people.

  • dawn langham

    Obviously, this is satire.

  • Gomerblog

    Allen Bright too bad you aren’t what your last name describes

  • Eunyce Saunders

    I’m just pissed because all this time I’ve been paying rent and groceries and I could have been drinking myself silly drunk, checking into the hospital and getting free room and board and an ordered meal. Smh!! :(

  • wormhd883

    Nursing coordinator was in full support, “If we don’t start suspending these nurses’ licenses, they will never learn.” Really if she had made a MED mistake then I would be saying ok, you made your point , but a drunk frequent flyer in ICU comeplaining he didn’t get the sandwich he wanted … BULL…… just cant believe that shit ..

  • wormhd883

    Now this is stupid, first off if he is in ICU he doesn’t get a choice of what he wants to eat and seeing as though he is a frequent flyer in the hospital, he shouldn’t have a choice… I have never been able to get what I want especially in ICU…. are you friggen kidding me… no wonder we don’t have enough nurse’s…

  • karen dunnigan

    Shame on the hospital administration .This sounds like a for profit hospital. .They are more concerned about the dollar and less about the employees. This is not the way to qualified .employees.

  • Cynthia Graeter

    I hope everyone knows that the Gomer blog is fake stories of medical humor and satire. I was almost sucked in then realized how preposterous this story is.

  • Allen Bright

    This article is absolutely ludicrous! A poorly written representation of current healthcare. There are so many real and truthful example of the insane things healthcare workers are required to do and how it places their licenses at risk each shift.

  • Clarice Compton

    What the.

  • Jennifer Braun-Smith

    The horror!

  • Harold Arthur Fowler

    Di tungguin dari tadi,, akhirnya Gomerblog update status juga,

  • Stephanie Hancock Rezac

    Hahaha!

  • Sara Keefer

    It’s satire people.

  • Mitchell Tong

    The chase for patient satisfaction will kill both the providers and the patients one day.

  • Shawn Malkind

    Shauntay

  • Elizabeth McLaren

    Yes it’s is… A laughable perspective that shows just how ridiculous some parts of our lives truly are.

  • Carolyn Klein Walko

    Pathetically true…..

  • Cathy Meadows DiSantis

    I always get pissed-off reading these faux-news reports, because it’s just too close for comfort. This is where we’re moving, people! Patient surveys are BS! They ought to be grateful for living in the 21 century, where medical care is available, period!!!

  • Lisa Tate

    That’s BULL. She didn’t jeopardize a life.

  • Julie Biondo-Hopper

    It was a joke or fake article – and not funny!

  • Julie Biondo-Hopper

    Ok – that was a JOKE! But not really all that funny!

  • Marsha Derheimer

    This is fucking stupid. She did nothing to get her licence suspended for. Those not in the nursing profession have no idea what nurses do . This administration is clearly highly unqualified and have their priorities screwed up

  • Kelly Lown

    This can’t be for real. You can’t get your license suspended like that. This is a slap stick blog!

  • Melissa Brown

    Absolutely absurd!!! Oh man… people have no idea of all a nurse is responsible for. Gotta laugh… gotta laugh…

  • Gomerblog

    I’d ask the guy eating ham when he wanted turkey, and see if he’s laughing

  • Patricia Kenney Rowley

    Just like teachers have to teach for the”test” medical has to minister to the almighty survey :(

  • Hilary Richter Stinard

    Stupid another reason pt satisfaction surveys are biased……. Clearly good should not trump critical pt and any administration who thinks so should hope their family member isn’t cared for that way while critically I’ll.

  • Joetta Auxier

    Sad but true

  • Bonnye Thomas

    Not so very far off the mark…especially about the intubated pt.- they are sedated and cant complain! (supposedly)

  • TJ Hale

    @DRrog3233 @MikeofAces #makemeasandwich

  • Susanne Gerardy

    Just the laugh I needed :)

  • Shauna Bendix

    Hilarious!

  • Danielle Thompson

    Or when you don’t deliver pie fast enough Katie Koy Allen :)

  • Connie Mundell

    After last night…this kinda isn’t funny. ;-)

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