Archeologists Discover Ancient Disability Papyrus

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GREECE – Last week on the Greek island of Lesbos, a team of archaeologists unearthed a primitive disability papyrus signed by Hippocrates himself in 405 BC.  Many believe the papyrus to be the first recorded work note excuse on Earth.

The patient, an ancient Greek man named Clownocles, claimed a condition called “Backodynia Chronicus,” which evidently left him unable to work in his trained profession as a marble mason.  Historians believe he was working on the Arcopolis.

Hippocrates, the Father of Western Medicine, was the first physician of record to use a precursor to aspirin (salicylic acid tea) to treat fevers and pain.  Clownocles’ ancient records show a claimed allergy to all aspirin products.  He instead demanded exorbitant doses of a tea made from the poppy plant.

The papyrus contains hints that Hippocrates was even farther ahead of his time than previously thought.  He mentioned diagnoses like “bowelus irritablis” and “fatigueus chronicus” in Clownocles’ record.

The note was dated a day before the famous Panathenaea, an ancient festival consisting of much wine and food.

Photo credit: Wikipedia.

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  • Jake Ho

    After 10 years spent fighting the unwinnable war that is Emergency Medicine in America, an "ER doctor" left medicine altogether and joined a Buddhist temple in Tibet, changing his name to "Jake Ho." He found the peaceful solitude he achieved to be the antithesis of years spent dealing with unreasonable requests and reprimands from patients, families, hospital administrators, and consultants. The vows of celibacy and silence he took are largely mitigated by the blogging and internet porn made possible thanks to the temple's excellent Wi-Fi connection.

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    Haley Denae Stewart

    Way to go Jake Ho!! So proud of you.

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    Fraser Welsh

    Funny how the ancient Greeks were all malingering in pig Latin.

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    Daniela Janelle
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    Moji Joon

    Backodynia chronicus!!!

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